Needyou

[Needyou]

You HAVE done the right thing! I have aldo fineally reported my ex abuser to the police. I feel ur pain as i too am so scared for mine an my childrens familys life but im getting help. He wont be able to hurt us any more an urs wont be able to hurt u again. Its so hard an painfull but i no i have done the right thing an you do too. Xxxx sending so much love your way i hope ur ok. Stay strong you doing the right thing.

[Needyou]

Omg for sure. I NEED this i need to recognise this behaviour I need to see the red flags my daughter needs to see the red flags. if I don’t know the knowledge myself I don’t want to be another case of my daughter ended up doing the same routine as I have and I don’t want to end up being really old and being in a really unhappy unstable abusive marriage. I cant tell you how much stronger i feel already just even with the first reply.
An yes it will be a long time and a long journey in myself b4 i will be willing anouther person to get close. That sounds sad wen i say it out loud but id rather that then be in this state again. ♡

[Needyou]

I no. I mean i gave him my life. I gave him evrything i loved him so deeply… well i dont no if it was me wanting some1 any1 cus i just wasnt ok beibg alone. An i no thats something i have to work on. But im not well so say not a women who would jyst go for any1 an wen meeting him i truely beleive he was the “right” one if there is that. We was the same on so many levels it was just ment to be well back then. I think i jumped in way to fast… i hate that as i no even then i had a feeling of this is too much too fast but he was so diffrent, so romantic really got me as a person an i truly belived he was the male vertion of me. He mad me laugh like no1 has. But then this man this man i thought i new… hang on let me rethink this. Well he moved in within (detail removed by moderator) months so no i didnt no him.
I no this is something i need to work on really is being happy an content with myself alone without a man to complete me as they say without my lobster as all loved up couples say it’s the pressure to find someone to find a man that completes you I guess that caught me and I truly believe that he did complete me I truly believe that he was My So Called lobster but when you get abused it’s like flips that will on its head and you’re there alone you feel naked in fact alone and you’re just clinging onto the fact that you did supposedly have this lobster and you just want that lobster back I’m so sorry I keep the same lobster but it’s just a phrase that I’ve been referred to by other people that I’ve just hold onto and hate it. Cus thats was one of the reasons i clung onto him.
Ladys i will educate myself I will get stronger and I won’t ever let this happen to me again I just can’t I just can’t but also I feel like petrified petrified of the fact that I never saw it coming and the fact that I might never see it coming again so I guess the ways to rectify that feeling like you said is to educate myself
Xxxx

[Needyou]

You all make me stronger. I really cant tell you how much finally talking about this has made me feelnot alone an you women give me strength in each post. Thank you so much for that. I have been reading alot on hear b4 i finnaly pluckd the corage to post. An doing so is really helping i turn to you when i feel the erge to want to NEED to message or reply to him. I can not thank you all enough for that.
Its so hard. I have daily battles with myself and all the things around me that remind me of him not to communicate and not to try and find a reason for his behaviour towards me. Although I know deep inside he won’t give me any reason because you don’t see any wrong in his behaviour which is totally amazes me still. I to be honist cant beleve an have been very naive to the fact that there are men out there like this and there are men out there that will treat women the way that he’s treated me and not believe there’s any like badness or any wrong in it. Being on hear has really opend my eyes to this all. 💔

[Needyou]

Thank you so much ladys ♡♡
You no the more i speak with you an read up on the numerous forums on hear the more i get smacked in the face on just how abuaive he really is an was to me. Its uttly heartbreaking. Wen i truely belived he was in love with me an thus pushed me to stay an help him. I really did an gave my all to him time an time again i forgave his actions. I hate myself for that. I feel so ashamed as i come from a strong single mother family an also have always been the one in friend groups to give advice an guidence on how they should deal with tjings wen in a bad relationship… but i really loved him i did. I thought he brang so much joy to my life an this side of him was just sokething he needed help with. To come to the realisation that he just never loved me causes so much pain. Xxx

[Needyou]

Thank you so so muvh for your replys to me even just speaking to you has helped so much. Yes i will try an sort seeing my GP and also get some help with getting over this. Yes i will phone the police. He has phoned me since and i have said i will report him if he trys contacting me anymore. I feel like i have a need to speak to the police even if just to try an save the next women he gets with? Or should i not? Will this bring alot of sh** storm to my door??
(detail removed by moderator) xxx

[Needyou]

Thank you so muvh for your reply.x
An yes i guess you are rite i cant go back. I hate myself. You no cus there was a clear sign he was like the way he is for me at the beginning his ex wife got a non molestation order out on him wile with me. He wasnt aloud down the same street she even lived. But as you can imagin he made out like she was crazy an hated he was now with me and was trying to break us up! I was like in two minds but also no that there are women out there who are vicious in this way… untill he lost it one night over me not wanting sex with him an then he even went as far as to wake all his kids up at the time (detail removed by moderator). It was horrific but i managed to calm him down. For the kids sake.
That was just one episode of his expotions. He once even chocked me so hard and then laughfd an said “dont no why ur crying u like it like that” then literally just rolled over an went to sleep like nothing had happend.
I dont no if this is anything to do with my side of things but he alot punchd himself in the face an headbuted the walls…
He would get a knife out and wave it next to his wrists saying “you want this?”
I never once even had it in me to fight back or argue with him it was like he was argueing and some1 other than me was makeing him worse?!
Im sorry hes done much more but i havent told ANYONE and i feel like i just need to let it all out i feel like screaming. He even laughed at me the last time b4 i left him. Wile i was shakeing and crying he laughed. He then said (detail removed by moderator)
He blames it all on his upbringing an it was bad so i wanted to try an help him.

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