PhoenixBlue

[PhoenixBlue]

Am I pushing him away because of my mental health? I’m so low I am not coping.

Am I the problem? I know he has been abusive but this point we are at now I feel almost as though I am now abusing him by bringing up the past.

He’s asking me to stop punishing him by being distant but I can’t help how I feel?? I don’t know what I want and it’s scary.

I said to him last night when he told me I was bringing up the past, I said ‘at least I never called you a low life, or said you didn’t deserve your Christmas presents?’

Is that abusive? I’m just so angry with him

Angry for what he’s done and how he’s behaving now!

I’m not perfect I hurt him when I had the affair and left him, but he was abusive first.

Am I being as bad by bringing up the past now? What if I can’t let it go??

I hate myself and I wake up every morning wishing I was someone else!!

[PhoenixBlue]

I’m having one of those days too! I feel like I’m going to go crazy and be sectioned x

[PhoenixBlue]

My partner has done this also! Stay safe please. This sounds like he is going to snap at some point!

Please take your friends offer and stay with her please? X

[PhoenixBlue]

I know they say not too, but at this point I have enough ammunition to back me up. I want to go and lay it all out to the counsellor and I’m confident about doing it.
My husband hasn’t been physical just mentally abusive.

It’s such a big thing to break away and say ‘no’ to my marriage as he’s not horrible all the time. Realistically I can’t see him changing and the way I feel I don’t feel able to support him anymore.

Is that fair? I don’t want one more happy time ruined by him and his moods!

Escaped but not free- my hubby always lashes out and then wants to be close with cuddles or sex!! Why do they do that!

I will look into the books X

[PhoenixBlue]

I have yeah, mainly just my one friend as my partner hates me talking to anyone!
I just don’t want to bombard her too much but some days I am paralysed with my anxiety and I feel like I’m going to freak out.

Which makes me wonder if I’m the one with mental health problems? X

[PhoenixBlue]

Thank you x

[PhoenixBlue]

It’s just my daughter I worry for.

I thought I could just manage his behaviour and I’d be ok. But in reality I can’t and it doesn’t stop the kids seeing it. Everything is tarnished, even the good times and I can’t go another year with a birthday being spoilt by his mood or behaviour.

X

[PhoenixBlue]

Thank you. I know I can’t go on, I also know it’s gonna take me a little while to finally ask him to go.

I know he can’t change, I know I’m going to miss him.

I worry for my daughter…she’s young and I know he will try and turn her against me.

I will also lose my stepson, and it’s ripping apart the family we created. I know I’m not perfect either.

Just a little more time x

[PhoenixBlue]

Ok thank you. I really appreciate it x

[PhoenixBlue]

Thank you, yes I will read. I know and can see he is a narcissist because he has no understanding of what he did wrong. He never apologises or feels bad for what he’s done. And if I bring it up he fires into me rather than change or own up to his wrong doing.

I see that now, but at the same time I love the man I know he can be. And he knows how to play me. I’m trying to write my dissertation for uni and I’m also working full time, I can do without his distractions and tantrums.
X X

[PhoenixBlue]

Well done! I am almost there, but I still love his good side.

It’s hard when they cry and promise to change. They pull at your heart strings.

Hope you’re ok. I have small kids too, and it’s so hard when they’re used as another form of guilt X x

[PhoenixBlue]

Thank you

I’m just struggling to manage without him. He says he just needs more time to sort his alcohol problem out and time to get over the affair.
But it’s (removed by moderator), and I feel that if he was going to change, it would have been when he was crying the morning after he’d smashed a glass object next to me and my oldest daughter heard. All I ask is that he spares the children from the arguing and the adult content of the conversations, but instead he uses that as power over me to keep me in the argument which goes on for hours.

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