purplepenguin

[purplepenguin]

I forgot to ask but he has asked me to choose between him or my family (except for the children). he said that if I want to be with him that have to be the rules because of what they did to him (changed the locks and threw him out).
I know they did this against my wishes and at the time I pleaded with them not to do it but I don’t know if I can go through a life not having contact with my parents. is he being unreasonable to ask this of me?

[purplepenguin]

My ex-partner was the same in some ways and towards the end of our relationship any sexual contact between us made me feel sick and disgusted with myself. He used to demand sex up to 5 times a day and if he didn’t get it, he would try his best to persuade me or rub himself up against me in bed. He had a manual job and used to smell too and not brush his teeth before bed. If I complained he tell me to “shut the f*** up” and get on top of me or shove my hand down his underwear.I hate myself for going along with it but it saved arguments.
I’m a single mum now and have been for about (detail removed by moderator) months
and my disability worsened a lot while I was with him.I
I just wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I feel like I don’t ever want sex again but i’d like to meet someone else eventually.
What does anyone think? Am I being reasonable?

[purplepenguin]

Thank you for your help and advice KIP, my family have said some of the things you suggest but stupidly I that they were overreacting. Some of the time he was really nice to me and would apologise and blame his anger on my family, saying that they interfere all the time and they caused him to lose his temper with me. I just feel so stupid because I believed that he loved me and I’ve been with him for such a long time. The other thing is I’ve gained a lot of weight and sometimes wonder if I would have been better off staying with him because I’m scared that I’ll be on my own forever, mainly because I’m disabled. He used to say to me that he doesn’t know anyone who would take me if we split up because I’m disabled and my family are nuts.

Now that he’s not living with me I can seem to think clearer and that they were talking sense after all. I don’t feel on edge as much so that has to be better. I’m just really worried that my family will not listen to me about throwing his things out. I’ve seen family today and they said they are removing his things this weekend and they won’t listen to me. I think I will phone the helpline or 101 tomorrow for advice. it’s just difficult because my daughter is at home with me all the time because of the school holidays.
I think my family they don’t think he’ll do anything and he’s all talk but I think he might. I feel so stupid now, I believed that he loved me too and I feel guilty for throwing him out but don’t know why?

[purplepenguin]

sorry, that should have said the HE became jealous and controlling, not me

[purplepenguin]

Hi Ladies

I’ve been disabled for (detail removed by moderator) years now. I had a stroke and brain injury when I had my daughter (she’s fine thankfully). I met my partner (now ex-partner) when my daughter was (removed by moderator) . I had a husband but he had lots of affairs when I became disabled because he said I wasn’t the same woman he married.
Anyway, when I met my partner he was so lovely, brilliant with my daughter too. however, that changed after  (removed by moderator) years of being together. I became jealous and controlling, started verbally abusing me and fell out with my family. He had a massive argument with my Mum and called her a c**t, old witch etc. Of course, my whole family fell out with him and my parents are more distant now. He has never hit me but has pushed and dragged me a few times and regularly calls me things like fat f*****r and thick c**t. He apologies later and I forgive him. It’s like groundhog day!
fast forward to now,  (removed by moderator) years later and my family decided to finally intervene. My  (removed by moderator)  and said: “were throwing him out”. I pleaded with them not to but they didn’t listen and my  (removed by moderator)  phoned him and said he needed to get his things out of my house. its now  (removed by moderator)  and he still hasn’t collected his things and my family have said they’re going to leave it all  (removed by moderator). I know he will flip and go absolutely mental if this happens. He’s already told me if anyone touches his things that he will slit their throat. I don’t think he would but I really don’t want it to happen  (removed by moderator). I’m worried about my daughter and parents. what should I do?

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