Restorergirl

[Restorergirl]

A couple of friends have told me that I am a broken women since I moved in with boyfriend and ******(detail removed by moderator) years’ ago. For the first time ever in my (detail removed) years have I been called that, been lied to, had lies told about me, had lies told about my family by *****. How can a (detail removed) year old woman be brought to her knees by this (detail removed) year old? It’s unheard of.
Gaslighting? I’d never heard of it before I came here.

[Restorergirl]

Oh look, it’s Coronavirus awareness time………………….. with the return of this person, who hardly washes hands or much else, let alone wipe; how on earth are we going to keep ourselves safe in this house. Friend and person return this week. I have blitzed the house when they went and dread them returning (apart from the abusive treatment I get). I ran myself ragged even before Coronavirus reared its ugly head, disinfecting every surface after that person had touched them, even down to the outside of biscuit packets.
I have spoken to OH about this, but he says there’s nothing he can do to make son comply with hygiene issues.
Do I really have to keep running around with wipes all the time, to protect us all?

[Restorergirl]

Ref boyfriend’s (detail removed by moderator)old son.
I only have to say ‘hello’ in reply to his very rare, ‘hello, you all right?’ and I get a nasty reply ‘oh, it’s like that is it?’.
Doesn’t matter how I say hello, in a normal type of way, every time it’s taken that I’m in a bad mood. Then he goes telling everyone that ‘she’s in a bad mood again’.

[Restorergirl]

Thank you for your kind comments Camel. Both away at moment, I flatly refused to go. Using this time apart to reflect on things, well, everything – me, that is, boyfriend probably isn’t. Feeling very alone in all this. I lived alone for ages when I was widowed a few years’ ago and didn’t like it one little bit, yeah I had freedom and peace, but was very lonely, which is what makes me go into a depressed state – having nobody to come home to or talk to. Don’t want to become some sad old lady with nobody to talk to.

[Restorergirl]

Thanks for the reply. Boyfriend won’t seek help as he says it’s not up to us to do so, the only person who can change our homelife is his son. Boyfriend is hoping that by the time he’s a few years’ older, that he would have grown out of this stage, but at my later stage of life, do I really want to ‘wait’ another few years in the hope that only then will I have a steady, unstressed homelife?? As a couple, we are great, but I have come really close to driving away on more than one occasion. I’ve even been looking at houses in the next town for myself, but why should we let this environment ruin a perfectly good relationship between us? I am torn between staying due to love for boyfriend and breaking away to find a (lonely) more stable life for myself. As I get older, it’ll just get more and more difficult.

[Restorergirl]

Any chance of turning your back to him when you meet or looking away when he’s chatting to your son?

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