Sadsoul

[Sadsoul]

Hi smallbutbrave, im still stuck so dont have much advice but i do understand what you are saying about giving in and them being all over you, i had a chance to get out last night had someone on stand by to collect me but im sure she could sense it all and spent all evening kissing and hugging me i kept trying to keep my eyes open and think of all the bad stuff i still gave in. Its not your fault look up trauma bonding a lady on here told me to and it opened my eyes to a lot of things, take care stay safe x

[Sadsoul]

Hi ladies thanks for the advice you are helping me so much, im more worried about her finding me easily as she will talk me round every time i think im strong she breaks me back down and im the one apologising taking all the blame and she wins again, ive been thinking about escaping so long and i really believe the only way is to stay in hiding till im strong enough.

[Sadsoul]

Hi just a update to say my sister and her husband have offered to pick me up any time day or night all i have to do is send them a msg, they live over (detail removed by moderator) away from me so i will have a long wait but ive been looking at the safe spaces in my area but am worried ill need to leave at night so my plan is to wait at the nearest police station, i wont be able to stay with my sister as my partner will know exactly where i am once i dont come back.

[Sadsoul]

Thank you all again i really appreciate all the help and advice ive been alone so long i forgot what it was like to talk to people even if it is only on here and in secret for now.

[Sadsoul]

Im hoping to get a chance to call the helpline but im worried if im not able to and i do manage to get out then call them will they be able to help me right away or am i going to need to rely on myself if i cant contact them before.

[Sadsoul]

Eggshells thanks for the advice i managed to find and hide my passport earlier and i know my n.i number, its made me a wreck being sneaky but i have near constant shakes anyway so it wont be noticed hopefully.

[Sadsoul]

Thank you so much gs im going to look them up as soon as i get chance x

[Sadsoul]

ISOpeace thank you for your kind words and if you would like to talk feel free im a good listener if you want to vent x

[Sadsoul]

Gs im going to look that up its been helping to read about things its making me realise whats been happening to me and giving more strength to get out thank you so much x

[Sadsoul]

Im trying hard to stay strong its like theres a storm inside my head i cant think or see clearly like im in a daze or something. I started my plan today i managed to hide a little bit of change i feel like a thief and liar for doing it though.

[Sadsoul]

As soon as i start to feel courage to leave its like she can sense it maybe its me being paranoid but its been bad most days then today i get up and im being made breakfast and saying all the things i want to hear again and i know now its all lies but it still makes me feel so guilty.

[Sadsoul]

Hi all, thank you so much for helping me yesterday i have contacted my sister and she is going to help me too. I thought the was no way out now i have a little hope again thanks x

[Sadsoul]

Yes i agree it does still affect the children i can see how her son is copying her behaviours and she has started making her daughter lie and cover for her, she has been talking to other woman the whole relationship every time ive caught her the blame is shifted on to me that i dont give enough attention or show my love enough, this time i found out (detail removed by Moderator) when she left the phone by mistake and i saw the msgs coming through from woman and a dating site i didnt confront her as i didnt want to ruin (detail removed by Moderator) but she used her daughter to cover for her.

[Sadsoul]

Its so helpful to find people that understand, the children are (detail removed by Moderator) and (detail removed by Moderator) now so basically adults but i wouldnt want to involve police for there sakes i know they will side with there mom they literally have no one else, they both have different fathers (detail removed by Moderator) ones dad left (detail removed by Moderator) and has had no contact the (detail removed by Moderator) father has had no contact (detail removed by Moderator). My partner is very cruel about both fathers, (detail removed by Moderator) her female partners are dead so i cant look to any of her past relationships to show whats shes like maybe it is me and my fault like she said.

[Sadsoul]

Police is not a option for me right now, my partner has 2 children one is now an adult the other not far off, they were removed from her care at young ages for domestic violence and placed in the care of her mother but i was always told the abuse was against her, all her family and friends said this person was vile and nasty and physically abusive, i helped my partner to get the children back in her care there grandmother never looked after them right they was slapped at all the while and never given anything and stuff we bought was taken away from them, my partner has never hit them or been abusive to them so they are still safer with her for sure. I couldnt watch them be hurt by me telling the police i love them too much even tho they am basically adults now.

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