SnoopySocks

[SnoopySocks]

I found my first couple of dates a bit tough. One time I panicked and ran away from the guy (who was lovely, if bemused!)

I’m glad I tried though and it did get easier. Go at your pace, there’s no problem with organising dates you know you can manage (coffee in a public place) and building up to one’s that feel more difficult. Try and pinpoint what you’re nervous about and plan a date that has less of that thing. For me it was very much about intimacy so I had to learn to take things slowly (even if I liked the new guy).

Let us know how it goes! It’s a really big step and you should be proud for trying it

[SnoopySocks]

Thank you so much TS for your kind and thoughtful response. I’m a bit calmer now and have gotten into a better headspace.

I think I’ll see what I can find that might help me work through things. It’s difficult because it always seems to cause upheaval, but I think it will be worth it if I can get through it and stop the memories dominating new relationships.

[SnoopySocks]

Hi Marmalade,

I’m sorry you had that experience but thank for sharing. In my case I just remember the DA shouting at me down the phone going “that’s not rape, that’s not rape, you didn’t fight, you could have left”. Admittedly I didn’t have any evidence and had left it too long. But I never expected a reaction like that, from what you’ve said it seems sadly more common than I realised.

I think they did agree that coercive control was apparent but they said the events happened before the law was introduced. And any assault charges were time limited.

So I don’t know. I guess it’s a case of moving on?

[Author]

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