Standing tall

[Standing tall]

Also. Make an appointment with your doctor and tell him how you’re feeling. He will be able to put you in touch with a councellor. Just talking about your problems really helps.
I used to have tattoos when I felt really bad. The pain was like releasing all of the pent up feelings. I got to the stage when I couldn’t cry anymore. Tattoos helped alot.
One day you will realise that you can’t take anymore. You will also realise that he doesn’t love or care for you. Then, and only then, will you have the strength to get away from him.
You are worth more than what you are living through and your life Will be better without him. You Can live on your own. It’s so much better than existing, which is what you are doing. If you don’t believe me try reading Life’s challenges by Dawn Garland. She also has a fb page. She is a poet and ‘survivor of abuse ‘. I hope you find the strength to leave soon.

[Standing tall]

Hi. I’m new to the forum. I was in a relationship with my abuser for many, many years. I didn’t even realise that it was abuse. He made me and the medical profession believe that I was crazy. I was put on strong antidepressants and sleeping tablets. The final straw was waking up to find that he had ‘taken me’ whilst I slept. I went, with a neighbour, to a solicitor. I gave her a statement. When it came to court I realised that my solicitor was accusing him of rape. I withdrew my statement in fear of the repercussions. I came off the tablets that day, but didn’t tell him. I started to learn that he had convinced me that I had forgotten to take them. He kept ‘pushing my buttons’ until I cracked and slapped him across the face. That was the day he broke my cheekbone and caused me to have a double prolapse. This happened in front of our children. I called the police and, eventually, they helped me to get an injunction against him. But I still had to live with him for a few weeks. He left right at the very last moment. He came round every day and sat on the lawn. He would introduce himself as my husband every time I found a new friend, scaring them away. I then got another injunction to keep him away from me. But the distance wasn’t far enough away. I could still see him when he sat on a wall watching me every day. Our daughter went to live with him within a few months. Our son went after a couple of years. Then neither of them would see me. After a while I got a transfer and changed my name. I didn’t think I was ever going to see my children again, so I decided to hide.
To cut a very long story short, I wrote and published my first book. I had been writing poetry through all of the abuse. It was scarey to look back on. I didn’t even realise half of the things that had happened. But when a new friend read it, he advised me to get it published, to help others. I hope it is helping others,I haven’t had any feedback yet. I have, recently, submitted a second book. This one covers everything I remember about the abuse I have been submitted to from my childhood and in relationships.
Putting everything down on paper has helped me deal with my thoughts and feelings. I hope it helps people to realise when they are being abused, before they ‘lose’ most of their life.

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