Startingafresh

[Startingafresh]

Hi everyone

I also surprised myself with my reaction from the sudden sound of a motorbike whilst on a bus. I panicked, my heart was racing as I thought it was my ex and all the way home I was looking over my shoulder in case it was him and what he would do if it was.
My reaction was totally over the top it just made me realise although I am out of the relationship recovery is going to take some time.
I have not had any counselling or CBT but I am hoping to get some local domestic abuse support soon. It helps knowing others are experiencing the same feelings/reactions.
Sleeplessnights123 I can understand what you mean about feeling burnt out because that is how I have felt today still trying to sort out the mess of my break up after relocating to different area of country because of him.
The only way I seem to cope is by keeping busy but its when I stop I start to think about what happened.
Take care everyone xx

[Startingafresh]

I dont think they do understand its a major life changing event I found it difficult answering friends direct questions about what I was doing although it was well meaning but it triggered my anxiety and panic that I was in this situation – living it. Its the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about on a night and I just try and keep my self busy in between to stop thinking.

As you say at least I am on my journey of recovery it may be slow but I will get there or he has won. Due to some of his vindictive actions since leaving I am careful of details I am posting because I still surprise myself at the fear/panic I experience fearing what he will do.

I took the advice of no contact it was brilliant – I no longer react the only contact would ever be through a solicitor and I`m sure he is aware of this now since there has been no direct contact for (detail removed by Moderator) months.
Here`s to a better New Year to everyone!

[Startingafresh]

Hi

Thank you for your support. I am going to make some enquiries about the Freedom Programme. I am going to get back in touch with my domestic abuse support worker.

When I was reading some of the posts it helps when you read others are experiencing the same emotions as you and that you are not alone. The sudden major life changes I have had to make and still trying to get my head around I never thought in a million years I would go through. But I bet everyone thinks that and I know I am stronger than I think – we all must be to just live with domestic abuse.

I am going to try and get some emotional support unfortunately leaving suddenly I did not get to plan and I cannot really afford private counselling. So going to enquire about the Freedom Programme and keep posting on the forum.

I know things will improve its not going to be easy but at least I am out of it recovery starts here.

Starting afresh xx
PS Im going to have to check the rules of the forum so apologies if I have nt replied correctly.

[Startingafresh]

Thanks I`m also new to the forum but least you have made a positive step accessing the forum as you will be able to access support whether it is advice or information or how to get it.

I only accessed the site after I left as I was frightened to search any domestic abuse information as I knew he monitored my internet usage which was a problem when I was working from home in lockdown and I wish I had accessed it before as it would have helped but I had to leave suddenly.

It must be really difficult for you and especially as you have 2 children I know what you mean about walking on eggshells and anxiety as mine eventually caused stomach problems which has majorly improved.

Take care and keep posting.

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