Survivor2021

[Survivor2021]

Do not blame yourself, the push pull creates an addiction as we become used to the lows followed by the highs. You’ve got this, imagine yourself happy and what that looks like. You may say it’s with him when he’s love bombing you, but you will always have the knowledge of how cold he can truly be. It’s easy to give the advice and not as easy to take it, I know full well. I’ve tried to imagine if my situation happened to my daughter what I would say. It’s been a useful exercise but I’m trying to work on it every day. Yes I will miss the good bits, but I don’t miss the control and manipulation and that counts for more xx

[Survivor2021]

I hope so, it’s going to take some work I know but at the moment I just can’t imagine life feeling normal again x

[Survivor2021]

I’ve written a post this morning about my experience and can relate completely to how you’re feeling. I would brush my own needs and feelings aside to please him and when he was going through a cold phase I literally felt the dopamine when he came back. I’ve been discarded now and all I can say is like you, I felt the whole time this was wrong and made me feel awful. The stress took a physical toll, I feel like I’ve aged 10 years. Ask yourself if this is how love should make you feel? Is this what you want for yourself. Recognise that you need and deserve more.

[Survivor2021]

Thank you for your reply. Yeah he’s an awful human being. I‘ve been in counselling for a few years (I stopped briefly this year because I felt I was just complaining about him every week and it was draining) but back now. He was incredibly angry I contacted his ex, he told me (detail removed by moderator)
I’m not sure how anyone moves on from a relationship like this. I guess I’m trauma bonded. Is it just time and counselling do you think?

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