I am sorry for you darling, I know this feeling, but you can overpass this. A year ago I said to myself that I have to become stronger. I was doing yoga 3 times per week, started to learn something new, I never tried, like programming(is was hard though), spending time with my daughter and son, teaching them different things, and asking them to help with cleaning the house(usually I did that by myself). I left the man that was abusing me, and my life was ruined, but with all the things I described you previously, I started to find myself again. So don’t be afraid to learn something new and trust in your self, and never back down.