ThalieRose

[ThalieRose]

Oh wow, I experienced every single one apart from kids…
I would also add the trauma bond and constant hope that things can go back to how they used to…
He broke up with me and I will always thank him for that. I am scared to think what would have happened if he hadn’t. I am just realising the sheer amount of trauma I’ve been through and if it wasn’t for him I would have still fought for this relationship… You girls give me so much strength to realise just how bad it all was.

[ThalieRose]

He threw a controller across the room screaming at the top of his lungs and storming out of the room because he wasn’t as good at the game as he hoped. I still remember watching the snow out the window shaking from every joint completely frozen. That was the first of many instances of phisical anger directed at the world around him… A few years later he strangled me because I needed him to help preparing the flat for guests…

[ThalieRose]

Hi JustKeepSinging. Hang in there! Your post resonated so much with that I’m feeling these days too, but remember that this is a process and you WILL get through this and you WILL be happier than you thought you’ll ever be.

Sounds to me like your mum is trying to make this easier for you by taking over and micromanaging whatever she thinks its best for you. But you can put down boundaries and express to her that what she is doing is not helping. You are strong and you can do this for yourself! Sounds to me like she wants the best for you but only you know what’s best for you. You’re strong and you can express yourself and your needs to her!

I understand missing those good moments, but they were just that, moments… Our lives have so much more to give than moments. I spent years of my life looking forward to these moments in between all the c**p and humiliation and now that I’m out of there, I can finally see the potential of my own life and my own choices. You WILL get through this.

It’s all a process and it’s all for yourself. Allow yourself to feel the bad days, tomorrow will be better. Slowly but surely your life will change, your heart will forget and you will heal. Try and celebrate the small wins every day.

I recommend listening to Brene Brown’s TED talk on shame and vulnerability. It really helped me see myself for who I am and how much I matter and how I can express that to the world in a kind and powerful way. You matter! Hang in there, it WILL get better! Hugs!

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