theatrefridays

[theatrefridays]

Thank you again, yes I think that time is coming and the relief I feel when I fantasize about a home without him it it keeps me going. thanks again.. x

[theatrefridays]

and above all this.. Any chance he gets to tell me that I am an idiot, a physical mess, a manipulator etc.. he takes it.. Waits for our daughter to be out of earshot and tells me how is is – his opinion. If I respond he says… SSShhhhhhh go away your talking only so our daughter can hear you.I can feel it coming as his face turns a funny colour (like a grey colour??) and his eyes look totally dilated.. I freeze and start to panic. Which makes him worse – he says.. “look at you”! “what you pretending your scared for”” your not scared its all for show. He says that I am passive aggressive. Sometimes I worry that hes right as I am able to shut down and say nothing when hes in a full rage at me. He calls me my mums name – as he hates her too. Do you have any tips on how to cope when the rage comes? Or how to be until I get the right time to get out of this mess?

[theatrefridays]

Thankyou so much for your response. The fact you share so much in common with me makes me feel like Im not the only one. Its so hard when family try to help… they just say “chuck him out” which I know is right but its more complicated than that. Im hoping the changes I have put into place in the new year means this will be a possibility. He has now had confirmation that his university fully support him taking a break from his studies! (he only managed 6weeks) hes blamed the death of his father and the stress he has at home (me) for not being able to concentrate. So what now? What does he expect to happen? to sit at home and have no financial responsibility what so ever while I worry myself to the ground with this new job!? Its embarrassing as hes living a life which isnt based on any form of reality? Hes basically skirted any responsibility to do what? Allow me to care for him while he “heals” ?? Its totally unbelievable. I went back to full time work when my daughter was (detail removed by moderator) to support us. Time to heal/grieve? oh to have that luxury… Bring on 2018.. Im going to need all the strength I can get for my next moves – and it has to be better than this? hes having me on isnt he! Can I ask you.. when you changed the locks etc… where did he go? to family? Thankyou x

[theatrefridays]

Thankyou. I called a local charity and a lovely lady told me the same. I just need to find the courage – and thats what I am stuggling with. oh and I work till 7pm most nights so I rely on childcare from him too. I have got a new job starting in the new year where I can work from home. Which (even though he will be there) I should be able to get some control back of my house and my daughter. then I will have to take these steps… its just until then I need to keep trucking on.. And Im hoping talking on here is going to help .. I think it already is. I dont feel so alone. Thanks!!

[theatrefridays]

Well done for getting away from him. You are a warrior protecting your children, and yourself and you should feel super empowered by the strength you have shown against all odds – and its humbling to read. Keep posting and we will be your support through this troubled time.. you can get through it.

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