Thewhiterabbit

[Thewhiterabbit]

Thankyou for all your support , I think the worst part is no one listens because somehow abusers normally have the gift of the gab and rewrite their past and truly believe it no one seems to see past the initial fake profile they build . It’s the denial that gets me , now I’m strong through fighting but before I truly thought that maybe I was just crazy and had made it all up because no one believed or listened to me at every point . I broke down but I’m building myself up luckily I have a great partner now that understands and supports me

[Thewhiterabbit]

Often the legal system can only take what’s black and white in front of them they cannot see past that and it can be infuriating. I myself have been let down by the system many times. It can be terrifying and if I was a weaker person I’d likely have not survived . It’s disheartening and you can feel like you’ll forever be tied to them and under control even when you are no longer in contact you still over think and get paranoid about people and their intentions . There’s a theory created by therapists in which you are represented by a cup , the abuser by money , when you first get together they fill your cup with pennies , then when something goes wrong they take it all away and leave the cup empty then when you follow orders and behave they give you a couple of pennies so that gives you that glimmer of hope . After this works they take the pennies away and continue the cycle. Until eventually they don’t give you anything and only at rare opportunities you receive a penny. This is all a metaphor for love and attention , emotions for some . Majority call it love bombing . It’s easy to be sucked in to this crazy circle but finally saying enough and walking away will show you just how little they gave and how much you are worth

[Thewhiterabbit]

If you have to ask yourself if it is abuse then it likely is. He shouldn’t ever touch you in anyway even nicely without consent. My advice would be to take the leap of faith and go. It’ll be hard at first because it’s habit that people get attached to and to make decisions alone when you’ve most likely not been allowed a choice of your own for a while it can be very difficult and daunting concept to adapt to. I promise you it is worth it

[Thewhiterabbit]

Ask the children to unite together and let them make the decision. With all age appropriate information given and make them write it down or video conversations make sure not to put anything in that could be used as a direction and you can use this in court I’d also get advice from cafcass or social services

[Thewhiterabbit]

Mental abuse is worse then physical. I had both, I can completely sympathise with you.
It is hard to stay cool and calm but do your research into laws and gather everything you have it isn’t easy but atleast you can cut ties and say you stood up . My entire life since has been cases and failures no one listening but you know what ? I don’t care , I’ll keep going until I can’t do anymore and even then I’ll create a scene on the way down . The legal system is messy and wrong but survival and owning your own life is far better then laying down and accepting the terms and conditions agreement with a narcissistic abuser. Take this and learn and grow . If nothing else helps and if no one listens atleast you have the ability to get under his skin by proving you won’t be dictated to and he has to live with knowing that he tried to break you but ended up being put up against the strength he forced you to give to yourself

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