Whatamess

[Whatamess]

Thank you for your thoughts KIP. Sadly although my children have had no contact with their dad for a considerable amount of time my ex has been fighting for child access, so although I have done my best to protect them matters have almost been taken out of my hands by CAFCASS who have almost done a risk assessment regarding child access.

I have had feelings of guilt regarding keeping the children from their dad from his perspective as well as theirs, but at the end of the day I have tried to limit their upset as well as me trying to cope with everything thrown at me mentally including me having health issues.

I feel at a time when it is right that the children should have a relationship with their father because of the effect not knowing who he is will have, and of course sadly the law says that both of us have ‘parental responsibility’.

I think that you are right in saying that any number of courses that their dad goes on will not change his controlling, abusive nature:(

[Whatamess]

My ex partner (detail removed by moderator) me after returning to the family home with children after period of shielding last year. Emergency services came out as I didn’t want to let him get away with it along with his controlling and coercive behaviour. I fought him through the courts in a (detail removed by moderator).

I didn’t think I had the strength, he practically broke me causing me severe anxiety with physical shaking, but I was so angry over the effect his behaviour has had on myself and the children that I couldn’t let him get away with it. I was frightened for myself as well as the ongoing effect he has had on our very young children…and they still talk about what daddy did! Although I have much of our belongings back he has held onto so much including keepsakes that the children had because I collected them together.

What you have mentioned I believe that you should make a statement to the police, seek advice from Victim Support, and if you already have recorded evidence make that allegation of controlling behaviour and include the abuse that the children are being subjected too. According to the child courts a parent is not meant to be negative about the other parent almost in an attempt to turn the children against them, which from what you say your ex is trying to do. He is out of order, it is child abuse, and he is also still messing with your head!

Save all emails/text messages and definitely keep going with the third party involvement, and try to find the strength to report him and even fight for main responsibility for the children! He doesn’t deserve them! Fight him, you can do it! X

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