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[00breakingfree00]

Hi Lost and Confused, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Well done for leaving. My story feels similar to yours, I’ve left a little longer than you. At the beginning I felt numb and it was a relief to be away from him but a huge adjustment. I am still working through the emotions, there are good days and bad days. I still cry a lot but try to lean into it. I’ve done a lot of reading aswell, my ex was also a textbook narc. Blaming yourself is only part of the manipulation because you’ve been lied to and confused for so long. I somehow managed to go weeks without contact and broke when I had a particularly bad day recently which also resulted in a barrage of I miss you texts and how terrible he felt (emotional manipulation). Once you know the signs you need to keep reminding yourself that they will never change and you deserve so much better. These people get a kick out of any kind of reaction, I’ve used the grey rock method when texting for practical things that we needed to sort out. Stay strong and if you feel the urge to contact him text a friend or family member or do something to distract yourself. I know how hard this can be. Sending love ❤️

[00breakingfree00]

They prey on kind natured people who they can easily manipulate. You want to see the good in them everytime they do or say something abusive.They have convinced you that you are not worthy but you truly are. It’s so hard and confusing but I completely understand what you mean, stay strong!

[00breakingfree00]

Hi Mellow, thank you for your message. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. It must be especially hard with kids and trying to show them what is right. Please don’t blame yourself for any physical or emotional abuse you’ve experienced, it’s all part of the manipulation and you’ve been made to feel like you’ve brought it on yourself. These people future fake aswell promising the world and their words never match their actions. You only want to see the good in them. Stay strong and show your kids what a loving, healthy, relationship can look like.

[00breakingfree00]

Thank you Auriel. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. This all makes so much sense. A lot of our friends were his to begin with but over the years I’ve become great friends with their female partners aswell. I’ve kept in touch with a couple but at arms length, it’s painful hearing how they’re all carrying on with their lives while I’m dealing with the aftermath of the abuse. I can see how he manipulates them now too. He’ll put them down and chip away at their character over time then buy them dinner so they think he’s a good person and ‘not that bad’, it’s all part of the cycle. I’ve made contact with a therapist specialising in narcissistic abuse as I really think it will help. I do feel like I need to relearn a lot of things, I feel like my brain isn’t working properly and I find it hard to articulate myself. I used to be so full of life, positive and easy going and he has completely destroyed me, I’m so sad I’ve lost the girl I used to be but I know I’ll be stronger because of it. Thanks for your kind words. One day at a time 💛

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