Apples

[Apples]

I just wanted to say thank you for your helpful advice – so many resources that will definitely help!
I had a meeting with a person from Womens aid and she was so helpful and kind and the ball is starting to roll finally!
I’m feeling trapped still and don’t want to be here with him but I have hope that we will find somewhere to escape to soon.

Thanks again – I really do appreciate your support.

[Apples]

Just to add – I have also been to my GP and told her my situation so it’s on my records so making very small steps which feeling as I’ll ad I do is all I can cope with now but I’m so scared of what he has up his sleeves in terms of the threats he is making – I feel like he is being advised by someone who only has his side of the story and is encouraging him to be as mean as possible.

[Apples]

Thank you so much for your replies – haven’t been able to answer as life a has been tough and he has been making verbal threats to make my life harder than I can imagine – intermittently sending nice messages in between when he is at work but being very hostile when face to face at home.
I have looked into his behaviour and have realised that what I think is going on is coercive control – the cycle of abuse applies 100% and he goes from being needy and insecure to very hostile and threatening, as well as manipulating my children against me and finding out that he has told them I am attention seeking after my car accident last week in which I was injured.
I’ve also found out he is doing some form of ‘black magic’ and have been advised by a friend who reads Arabic that it is a form of a curse with the intention to bring harm to the house.
I’m very low right now with being severely anaemic, several hospital admissions, a blood infection from an emergency cannulation on the roadside (from the crash) and yet am being threatened that I will lose my home, no financial help or help with the children and ongoing hostility, walking on eggshells when he is around …. I have rang helpline but call backs never get through and I can’t figure why. I am reading about my rights etc but it takes so much courage to bring this to a higher level ie the police. I just want a quiet life with my children who are my world but at the same time a line had been crossed. . Feeling very confused, scared and stuck right now 😥

[Apples]

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Every word helps, believe me!
Life feels cruel at the moment – me and my children are happy when we are together and alone and I wish we didn’t need others but for now we do…
What you said about letting my parents think those thoughts is so right – I always add extra stress to my life to try and be perfect in other people’s eyes but that’s impossibly and my parents are hyper critical of my life anyway. So that will definitely stay with me.

The guilt is the hardest part too – I feel so guilty for keeping the children from him but every night I’m dreaming he is trying to kill me and I just can’t take that risk for them to be near him.

Thank you again, I’m so grateful x

[Author]

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