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Its important to your potential case that you register/ log any domestic violence, mental physical that affects you/child . this will give over time a timeline. Any diary or notes keep safe. Living with the dominator is a great little book and you may find a Freedom programme or similar near by. There are effects on children subliminally. Always have a ‘plan’ in case things escalate. being able to speak to someone who understands does help to feel less isolated about it.

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Try attending if you can find one- The freedom programme where you can learn about domestic violence and abuse. It changed my life and has empowered me. If you cant find one near to attend there is a book which is the basis of this DV programme called “Living with the Dominator”, easy to get online, for about £10. its by Pat Craven. Its life changing, simple to read and in a format of the different personas of the abuser – which in my case was everyone!…be kind to yourself X

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Hi there, I totally understand, I was in a relationship with my abuser from (year removed by moderator) until (year removed by moderator) when circumstances made it that he fled the Country, that was my and my three childrens saviour. I didnt even realise what I was living with was actually domestic violence… I was able for a short while to find myself and be able to realise I was acutally a person who could do everything I had been able to do before I met the abuser and started making a life for myself and children, albeit a year off from his abuse and with a new lovely man who is now my husband even from afar he has continued to abuse myself and my new husband, my daughter remains safe with me, my elder son is mentally damaged and is with his father and after my non molestation order for an older son stopped due to reaching 18 he lured him away too. Police are involved now too. I know the feeling of feeling fine then it just takes a second of something to bring you back to the old feelings. Counselling has changed my life, a sea of tears The Freedon Group for DV is amazing and support is there. Having this help will make you understand better what to look out for in future relationships. All I ever want to do is not be found, move house etc… you are not paranoid, you have experienced a massive trauma in your life and you are right to cautiously carry on your life, boosting your self with help will help carry the burden. I have started an online Government Petition for long term domestic violence, recently as there are many victims who suffered long term and abuse which falls outside of the time threshold to convict, establishing a dedicated unit to investigate theses crimes as clearly women find it hard to leave for many reasons and thus time slips away and so does the perpetrators being able to be convicted of their crimes. PTSD is something most abused people suffer from in different degrees … it helps to talk and share the load but i know how hard it is to talk and make the first step.Although be brave and try to. I found it helpful to write everything down in full detail and then keping it safe in case it was needed in the future … does seem to take a bit of weight off your mind …Be kind to yourself X

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