Blackfish

[Blackfish]

Thank you for your kind replies.

I did tell him. The reaction was worse than I expected.

I’ve had to call Samaritans twice in three days but I’m feeling stronger each day that passes knowing I got through the one before.

I think it’s come to an end, no repair in sight and that’s probably the best thing. I’m just sad it took this much pain and hurt to get to this point. I should have picked up sooner without giving him more ammo, as you are smartly doing @emotionallydone !

I guess a part of me hoped he would turn round and understand and show some love and support, but that was silly.

I’m now at manic googling stage trying to figure out where and how I can go anywhere and how I will move all of my stuff without any money. I’m hundreds of miles from my family and friends most of whom don’t even drive and there’s not even a bus to the nearest train station.

Really starting to become clear just how isolated and dependent I have been made!

[Blackfish]

Thank you all so much. I’ve barelt slept wondering if I am overreacting, but it’s right to say I know what’s happening in my gut. I identify so much with the actions speaking louder than words. He’s never said I can’t – but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t made me purposefully feel like I can’t. And th constant cycle of being told I am overreacting and how dare I accuse him of abuse because of course – he isn’t an abuser, he’s a man who has simply done xyz and why is that abuse? If anything it’s CONCERN etc etc. The list goes on with him, but each time it happens I dampen it down and brush it under the carpet and tell myself he’s right, I’m probably overreacting and it could be worse as he isn’t physically violent. But this is a steep path and I’ve had enough of feeling like I CANT and want to feel more like I a can.
Reading these replies this morning has helped me know that I need to make the right choice for me, because by staying I’m going to lose myself. Thank you.

[Blackfish]

Thank you all for your help. It took another few blows but I’ve left the situation. I don’t have my beloved dog 🙁 but I’m doing ok and feeling mostly positive with bouts of sadness.
Thank you for the support and guidance.

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