bobbi

[bobbi]

Hi Wits End
I have finally found the courage to speak to my local service recently.
I first spoke the WA helpline who gave me the details for my local service.
I spoke to them and they offered me the number for the local outreach/floating support service. I called them today and the lady I spoke to was wonderful.
I then had to complete a self referral form and am waiting to hear back. She said they’ll allocate me a support worker who I can meet face to face to talk about the options including refuge or applying for emergency social housing to get out.
I think local services are also listed on the WA website so you could start there if you don’t want to call the national helpline.
I hope you get the support you need x

[bobbi]

Thanks Kip.
I am in contact with a local Domestic abuse service now and filled in their self referral form today. They will allocate a support worker to meet with me and discuss my options. They mentioned I would qualify for a refuge or emergency social housing without even going in to the details of individual incidents. I don’t feel ready for that but staying here is getting harder and harder. Apparently now he wants to divorce me formally on grounds of my unreasonable behaviour (rather than get a separation agreement drawn up and divorce later.)

Thanks for the tip about rights for women I will look them up

[bobbi]

Hi Starryeyed

I think when we are told something enough times we start to believe it; so we believe the rubbish we are fed by our abusers. This also means that eventually we will believe it really is abuse and has to be stopped/we’ve done the right thing escaping.

I am still living with my ex-husband because of financial issues but was advised by WA when they said to sort out my safety plan to keep things locked away if possible. I went out and bought a lockable filing box. It is big enough for my emergency phone, diary, journal, and the lap top I went and bought because I cannot trust him using the same PC after a discovery I made. I have also hidden the box so it’s out of sight. It’s not fool proof but makes me feel a little more secure in the knowledge it’s locked away.

I still don’t always feel sure and feel like I am the one about to cause a big stinking mess if I report him. I don’t like conflict or drama and I feel like I am instigating it by reporting it!

It’s so hard!

[bobbi]

Hi Stormdreamer I am new to the forums but from everything I have read his behaviour sounds overwhelmingly like gaslighting. It is not you!
His comments and behaviours are hurtful and emotionally abusive.

You are not to blame and are not over sensitive!

sending hugs and strength x

[bobbi]

Starryeyed I want to say thank you for posting. I am new to the forum and your post is exactly what was going through my head. WA and a local DA service have told me it is abuse but I keep thinking it’s me, I’m over reacting. I know I need to go to the police about some of the things that have happened to me and needed to be clear about everything so they have a full clear picture.

Your initial post with the bullet point list really helped me because it jogged my memory and helped me write a list of over 40 points/incidents I need to raise when I do find the strength to go to the police and also to raise with my solicitor.

I hope you are currently well and safe.

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