forgottenandlost

[forgottenandlost]

He ranted for about an hour and a half while sat in the drawer so i really dont think he needed a reply anyay lol .hopefully now he has passed out (detail removed by moderator)

[forgottenandlost]

P.S whats grey rock ?

[forgottenandlost]

Have just got a new phone so hes still calling on old one atm but i need to still answer withheld number calls on that one for now as i cant remember who ive changed number and who i havent and the odd place it doesnt seem to matter that ive changed it (like idva) they just keep calling on the old one . Ive found as well that letting him rant stops him from turning up on the doorstep so putting him in the drawer works for me until im actually somewhere where he cant find me and he will drive drunk so just because hes been drnking doesnt mean he wont get in the car.
Iwantmeback im finding pain levels are higher atm as not sleeping too which is caused by anxiety i know its all a vicious circle isnt it then because im in pain my brain kinda shuts down and i pass out so i fall and cause more pain and round and round i go

[forgottenandlost]

Im glad ive cheered you up iwantmeback and ive managed to go and get my pain killers today (i ran out a few days ago) as i could hear his hawks in the background so i knew he was at home and not outside

[forgottenandlost]

you arent alone i used to think when he was drinking … which was often …. id get away with pushing him down the stairs ( i still hope for this along with a work related injury/death)

[forgottenandlost]

im still done with the police diymum they still make me feel like im in the wrong but i dont seem to be able to get my dog back while im here and he is the only man i want in my life so id sleep on the street to get him back

[forgottenandlost]

UPDATE: it looks like ive been refused refuge place because of my ‘disability’ ( i call it side effects ) so womens aid have offered to pass me along to an advocate that deals with ladies with disabilities and getting them into refuge so fingers crossed they get back to me soon although im sure this is something my idva should of been doing anyway but then she has never bothered to come and meet me or have a proper conversation just a few texts ive still not heard from her in whats over a week now and althogh the place caring for my dog have its taking them a few days at a time to get a call back and then its just shes working on it …. not sure how without talking to me but there you go why should i get to say anything

[forgottenandlost]

i thought thats what the idva was for ( apparently im mistaken) so instead of getting all stressed over it ive got prepared ive written a will both a living and after death one and made the arrangements for a closed funeral and although im unable to sleep ive rested the best that i can

[forgottenandlost]

to be honest diymum i think ive given up now im too tired and too ill to keep fighting him and the people that are meant to be helping me , ive had a small fire here and threats now the handprint left on the door and noone but me seems to be bothered so why should i ? i had a severe head injury from him and any stess makes it worse so ive been struggling to be on my feet for more than 20 minutes before passing out so instead of letting it all keep me stressed im concentrating on ignoring that hes getting braver with the threats too and trying to stay relaxed until it finally happens

[forgottenandlost]

to get an update they have to answer calls diymum and like ive said i think she has been abducted by aliens im more at peace with the fact im going to end up a statistic that they all say its a change in policy that is needed for maybe my death will help someone else

[forgottenandlost]

im still at home , bloody handprint left on my front door no word at all from my idva (think shes been abducted by aliens)

[forgottenandlost]

its just bizarre they are worried about his safety but not mine this is the woman that was given my case because I was at extreme risk not the dog he was actually bought for me as my ex has a fear of this particular type
im not holding my breath for them to do anything really as they have had long enough now to even just of given me a call to say they were doing something wouldve been something , the have told the people caring for dog they ae still looking but they have told me its pointless them looking i have to but when i call i get asked why they arent , in the meantime nobody warns me when im about to pass out or that ive forgotten the stove and its burning ……………. oh wait theres the fire alarm again

[forgottenandlost]

doctor has been no help either as i cant leave house havent been able to for months now and they wont do a home visit

[forgottenandlost]

lover of no contact its not just tonight its been going on months is it bad i want him to find that new victim

[forgottenandlost]

hi iwmb
ive answered his most recent call and told him i wont be calling police or anyone else to do with them so now im just sat here waiting for him

[forgottenandlost]

my council have said if im no longer safe its not their problem and just move out of their area no help offered to do his
police pepper sprayed me today after i pressed panic alarm 12 hours before (nice response time there ) because i keep a knife attached to me now after the lack of safety they have given when hes turned up before so tonight i handed back the panic alarm and have asked that the police no longer attend if anyone else calls them and resigned myself to the fact he is going o come and im going to die but thats strangely calming

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