Grapevine456

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Lisa
Yes it helped to dump it all in a message. You are right its exhausting second guessing all the time and waiting for the next bomb to drop.
I have not been in touch with my local womens aid for a few weeks however it might be a good time to see if they would help me to go through a safety plan. I am planning to leave as I see no alternative but the way I go about this is less certain.

[Grapevine456]

Lionking you sound so sure of your decision which is really helpful to hear. Last night I came to the same realisation however have been having doubts today. Like you my priority is my children and the longer things go on the more they get hurt.
Have you planned how you are going to go through with this? Wishing you all the best.

[Grapevine456]

Sun girl did you stay together after communication reverted? What happened next?

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Banana boat and Sun Girl. Its hard to repeatedly go through things, meanwhile nothing changes, or actually worsens.
My whole family are supportive but also tired of the rollercoaster ride and advising we decide what we are doing as our kids are suffering, particularly (detail removed by moderator).
I’m at a low point full of uncertainty but with expectations on me to do the right thing but not sure what this is.

[Grapevine456]

Awe I can only imagine how hard this must have been. The thought of any alone time with someone who has been do mean must have been difficult. Hope you are ok

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Tired Ziggy. Sorry to hear this, all kids deserve treats from time to time. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation too. So hard to know what to do but getting out does seem tempting. Keep posting, sending a hug.

[Grapevine456]

Does anybody know if I can stop my husband from sharing audio with his friends that he has covertly recorded. I believe he has been editing bits of Conversations and has shared with folk. It has got to a stage where the only way I can communicate is by text as I don’t want to be recorded any more. Any ideas? Is it now a matter for the police?

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Lisa,
I have had a chat with my local womens aid worker before this latest event. I’ll give them a call again I think. I’m so confused and so unhappy and worried about the impact on my 2 beautiful children. I’m almost at the point where I cant see a way beyond these latest events other than to leave. It feels such a big and frightening step.
Also on (removed by moderator) my husband plans to take the kids with him down to visit his parents (removed by moderator) and the thought of being away from them and not being able to be there to intervene at times of conflict worries me.

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Here for Help.
I made the mistake of telling him how much his actions had upset not only me but my whole family.
He has as you predicted escalated things further by requesting I evenly split the monthly outgoings with him. However in doing so I will actually owe him money on a monthly basis. I realise this is not how a marriage should work but wonder how to deal with this. I’m keeping a record of all of this which is harrowing in itself and learned today that he has been recording a number of our other conversations. I think he is unwell and he doesn’t have somebody to check his behaviour so he is in fight mode. Not sure how to deal with it all.

[Grapevine456]

Thanks @stargazing1 yes good advice to chat to local womens aid. Finding it difficult to vocalise but probably that’s what I need to do. Glad you have support lined up and hope you find it helpful.
I totally relate to kids impression. They are very much taken in by fun Daddy and don’t hear/understand the undertones.

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Star gazing its feeling a little hard to keep going at the moment. After me asking my partner to leave he has told my children that we are not splitting and we are just going through a rough patch. I just feel so stuck and so incredibly miserable.

[Grapevine456]

I’m just looking for advice. Just been subjected to the following statements in the last wee while. For the sake of the children I did not bite but then it got too much and I asked my husband to leave. I can do no right. He has refused to leave though and I dont know what to do next..
Here are the statements:

-Great (detail removed by moderator)
-Is this (detail removed by moderator) all day
-(detail removed by moderator) something around the house
-If I didn’t do (detail removed by moderator) the kids would (detail removed by moderator)
-Why dont you get (detail removed by moderator)
-You (detail removed by moderator) I didn’t need to do dinner.
-At least I’m doing some of the housework and not (detail removed by moderator).
-I have had a hard day I’ve (detail removed by moderator) I deserve a rest
-Nobody else does anything around the house

I have to say that I did have a short nap today as I’m exhausted but have done cooking,cleaning and ironing without complaint. I just didn’t hang up the clothes quickly enough and I got my partners wrath. Is this abuse or am I being very sensitive?

[Grapevine456]

Thanks Tired Ziggy. I just don’t know whether its helpful. Our first session was really difficult. I went first and he sat making notes so he could rebuke what I was saying. Yesterday I felt I was being g told to get a grip and stop feeling frightened and just get on with it.
Almost feel like I’m imagining things though then I look at the messages he has sent and think of the things he says and I believe I am not.
Like you my partner I’d charismatic and be very charming so people dont see what I see.
Well done for standing your ground. I hoped that I might see things more clearly but that’s not been the case so far..

[Grapevine456]

Hi,
I’m new to this site and would not normally post but I am terribly confused about what is going on in my relationship at the moment. My husband has recently been quite unwell with a hospital stay. He has become suddenly quite angry at me, blaming me for his illness and citing evidence of job changes and associated reduction in income I bring in causing him to have to get another job. When I did not accept it was my fault he blew up and became really angry, with aggressive pointing and stabbing the table with both his pointing fingers. Additionally he has sent a raft of messages telling me I’m a Jekyll and hyde character, asking me why have spent money using our joint account rather than the prepaid card that is loaded up every month (detail removed by Moderator). I have become fearful of him and have withdrawn and bearly talk to him now as it seems easier to be quiet rather than receive his wrath. (detail removed by Moderator) we had an online couples session which was traumatic and I found myself reliving a lot of the things that have happened. My voice was heard first whilst my husband listened and made notes and then provided examples of why I was in the wrong. (detail removed by Moderator)
I am so sorry for such a long and rambly post and wonder if I am imagining things or being overly sensitive? Any advice ?

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