Graysky

[Graysky]

Hi Daff, I ask myself that question a lot. I grieve for my lost youth wasted on living some kind of pretend life.
I would tell myself it’s ok to be alone and tell myself you are stronger than you think. I have realised I am actually stronger , more independent than my ex partner. I actually pity him now although angry that he never acknowledged his behaviour was wrong.
Maybe doing something for yourself that you could not do before. Anything from decorating a room in YOUR favourite colours to a holiday or day trip.
Start with small things.

Keep going xx

[Graysky]

Hi
When I finally left after a very long relationship and a few attempts at leaving I too felt I needed to wait until he did something that would be the final push. It’s almost as if you need to justify leaving.
I found planning hard to cope with. I did find a holiday let that I could afford at short notice, I actually booked on the day I left.
This gave me a couple of weeks space to sort my next move out.
I took one step at a time.

Good luck you can do this x

[Graysky]

Hi I can relate to those feelings too. I wasted so many years feeling too guilty to leave. Sometimes it was fear of what he would do if I left but alot of the time I felt it was because I did everything for him and paid half the mortgage/bills. I felt responsible for him.
I left quite a few times and went back only leaving for good when I felt he was in a position to be able to support himself financially .
Even though I took only a small percentage of what I was entitled too he still made me feel guilty.
Now I feel guilty for not leaving much earlier in my life as I have wasted his life too. But I have moved on now and am much happier and looking back seems like a bad dream . I never thought I would do it I just keep pinching myself to make sure it’s real.

[Graysky]

Thank scapegoat for replying to my post. I was thinking of getting some kind of counselling but feel it would be just somehow be self indulgence as there are so many people is need of this help and really just get on with my new life.
I bumbled along for far too long and the longer I did it the more regret I felt.
I pray that one day soon you will find the courage to do what you know you want to do with your life. I promise you it will be worth it xx

[Graysky]

I left after (detail removed by moderator). I always felt i was doomed never to have the strength to leave. It was always next time i will leave again and again
One day i just asked myself what could be worst. Spedding the rest of life with him or taking a chance on my owm. I have never regretted it.
Now i feel sorry for him. I realise i was the stronger one in the relationship.
I regret the time i wasted but i cant go back. I love having my own place and my life is now my own.

[Graysky]

Thanks wants to help for your reply . Yes I think I should trust my gut instinct reduce my contact with him.x

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