Writing this makes me realise how daft I am being, yes he’s been abusive, mentally physically, sexually escalated very quickly but it is almost like he may as well be doing it all again as it feels so real. I’m scared to sleep in terms of what he might do but also I can’t control my thoughts when I’m asleep and relive so many things but isn’t stop it. At least if I’m awake I can try.
I wake up drenched in sweat and tears and convinced it’s happening again.
I’m being unfair because he’s had a rough time and he doesnt mean it. I think.
