Iwillbefree

[Iwillbefree]

Hi,

I so get where you are coming from. I too suffer the same. It really is awful. And just so annoying that they can still affect us.

I can’t give you a solution. Sorry. As I’m still looking for one myself! But just stay strong. You have had better days so you know you can and will have these good days.
I think just go with the storm, ride the waves and bit by bit you will get strong and remember how it is to live before all this happened to you.

Sending you hugs. Take time for your self care. It does help. Good luck with your journey xx

[Iwillbefree]

Hi,
It is very debilitating you are right. It can consume your whole day. And yes the racing mind! It drives you crazy doesn’t it.
It’s definitely easier when occupied, like work. But like you say at the weekends you can’t be bothered to do anything. I’m the same. But that’s OK. It’s time to heal.
I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to get on with it and move on but we really need to greive and process what has happened. So don’t be hard on yourself for missing them. I’m learning that. They were our lives before. It’s a very hard transition.

Take care of yourself xx

[Iwillbefree]

Hi
I understand exactly what you are saying. I am also not long out and it’s such a battle in your own mind with taking them back but you know you shouldn’t/can’t.
We know they treat us badly, but doesn’t stop us missing them. I’m learning that slowly.
I also am very weak and loyal to my ex and its so hard to fight those feelings. I constantly feel sorry for him and guilty for ending things.
The way you feel doesn’t make you pathetic at all. You are obviously a lovely person with lots of empathy and kindness. And you were in love, and probably still do love, someone who hurt you. It’s really hard to accept that.
I feel exactly like you at weekends. Do you work in the week? I think because I’m busy at work Mon to Fri it’s not so bad. But then the loneliness and too much time to think in the evenings and weekends is the hardest times.
You have done the right thing getting out try and remember that and I think time will be the healer for us all.
I try and keep busy. I try and meditate to relax. It does all help. But I think it’s just a very long road to recovery from what I read from others.
Maybe try some new hobbies or something to fill these times you feel like this.
I know even that’s really hard to achieve though sometimes.
Stay strong and safe.
Hugs xx

[Iwillbefree]

Hi,

I have been to 2 refuges. One very recently. Please don’t worry. It is not a bad place.
Both of mine have been lovely. Yes you only get a room and share a kitchen and bathroom. (This was my recent one). You have a lock on your room door and on kitchen cupboards. There is a main front door everyone has a key for. There is cctv at all entry points so they are safe places.
The one I went to years ago was with a child and I had my own flat. So it really depends on your circumstances.
The support workers are there Monday to Friday normal office hours. But there are on call numbers to contact someone if you need to.
I was exactly the same as you. How can I be on my own? My mental health will be bad. And all the other negative thoughts you have.
But please try it. Everyone there has been through similar experiences and everyone I met was lovely. We are all scarred in some way and there is an understanding in this with everyone. We all supported and looked out for each other. It was nice.
It was also a freeing experience for me. I could come and go. Popping to the shops. Eating when I wanted. All the little things we forget can be enjoyable. (You have to attend certain meetings etc with support workers but that’s the help we need).
The best thing for me there was the peace! That can never be underestimated. It allows you to think clearer. My mental health improved there.
Sorry I am waffling but I just want to reassure you it is OK at a refuge and it really helped me and I hope it can help you too. Xx

[Author]

Posts