Lilminx

[Lilminx]

Just a personal opinion but I think your stark raving mad, getting out of an abusive relationship then going back to not only the town where you were previously abused but yo them home where you were abused, sorry but yo me that’s not moving forward that’s taking another leap backwards, it’s like your living in the past and feel the need to go back , like one abusive situation wasn’t good enough you wasn’t more …
I understand it’s also where your family is , but surely wait a while longer until things are back to normal ish in your current life then invite them to you , go somewhere else for a holiday and enjoy the stress free holiday , you will be on tender hooks holidaying with family in case your brother turns up , it’s just so not a good idea .

[Lilminx]

Hi I was in a similar situation some years ago too, I met and married a guy within a few months , I had noticed a few concerns before marrying him but as he’d told me a few of his previous partners weren’t very nice to him and they lied and stole from him I was eager to prove I wasn’t like his exes and put his odd moments down to insecurity.. big mistake , the marriage made him think I was now his, and he got worse , threatening my son and a few short weeks into the marriage I left , and can now look back and see that he hadn’t changed he was the same before I married him , I just choose not to see it as I thought I loved him , I hear from others that he’s still attention seeking and still blaming me for the bad things that happens in his life and it’s been a few years since I’ve seen him … men like him will never change , it’s the control they crave and will be nice to reel you in , it’s one big merry go round

[Lilminx]

I want badly for us to move forward but right now I can’t , I need him 🙁 and no I’m not just thinking that lol I do really need him as I’ve recently had a major op and have no friends or family around to help so am stuck with him a while longer x

[Lilminx]

That’s mine all over accept he does smell lol I swear his clothes running screaming to the washing machine and I always wondered why he couldn’t find clothes but now I no why it’s because they hide lol they don’t want to be put on his body ..

He also expects sex on demand , hugs and kisses to and moans when I have to push him away .

[Lilminx]

I guess it’s good to know your not the only one suffering like this or going thru that and whereas his behaviour is far from normal a lot of abusive men act like that. (detail removed by moderator)

 

[Lilminx]

I think mine is once a week too lol sometimes is longer than that tho and like you mine works a manual job so gets smelly and sweaty and yes he’ll do a full change then , you sure it’s not the same fella? Lol .
Oh but you wrote about teeth, one as none and never brushed them when he did have them .

I,m just gonna leave him to it now , me moaning at him because he smells only makes him more determined not to wash/shower or get changed , never known a man like him before and don’t see the factionation with being dirty like that myself but each to their own lol

[Lilminx]

I think you may be right and it’s arrogance with him , thinks I still find him irresistible , you no like he’s got me now do there’s no point in him trying anymore , he seems blind to the fact that I no longer hug him or kiss him and move away when he comes near , I won’t even sleep in the same bed .

I think he does it because he knows I don’t like it as I,m not like that myself , maybe he’s trying to get a reaction from me ? I used to react many years ago , always moaned st him , told him he smelled , but now I don’t bother , he’s his own person he doesn’t need me to tell him when to wash, change his clothes , if I thought he was depressed then I’d certainly encourage him to do them but I no he’s not.
It’s a case of his world, his rules

[Lilminx]

He’s not depressed and seeing as the dates have been blanked out which is rather stupid as surely he can’t be the only male to have returned to work when he did??

Anyway he basically LIVES in the same clothes , day in, day out, he’ll sleep in his clothes and wears them to work the next day and he’ll wear them for days at a time including his underwear and socks .

I no he used to be on the road a lot in his younger years and his mum died when he was young but I met his family and they are all clean .

I do think that he doesn’t seem the point in washing/showering or changing his underwear especially and clothes often because as he says “he isn’t going anywhere/meeting anyone” he did tell me some years back that only dirty people wash! Maybe he believes this .

I do no he stinks! I smell him when he comes near me and am surprised no one at work as said anything to him yet , if I say anything he’ll spray deodorant .

I think with him it’s a case of love him as he is.

[Lilminx]

I’m in one of them predicaments where I currently need him , yes he’s well aware of this fact too, but the (detail removed by Moderator) I’m taking a two week vacation, it’s already been paid for in a will left the me, I need my partner to watch my son and pet, taking my son isn’t an option as he’s sitting exams . I have no friends and my family lives hundreds of miles away , if I tell my partner to get lost now I’d only have to beg him and plead with him to watch my son and pet and then of course he’d insist on staying in my home for the duration, you know to save him the trouble of coming back and forth , then when I return I’ll be back to square one of getting him to leave and keeping him away

[Lilminx]

Well I’m kinda glad I’m not making a mountain out of a molehill, but this is him and don’t fully understand why I keep going back to him time and time again, I can’t even say I go back in a short space of time because I don’t, it’s always many years later and I’d moved on etc but he turns up and that’s it, game over

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