Lionsloth

[Lionsloth]

Thank you all for your replies. They made me cry but made a lot of sense. It’s just really hard to shake this feeling of utter fear and panic. I’m sure it is to make me do what he wants but (removed by moderator) there will be no stopping him and he will act on what he’s said. I know I have truth on my side, I know whatever he says we both know what he’s done but I am not sure that will matter. And even if others don’t believe his bs it’s the humiliation of everyone I know reading all the statements etc. I’m going to give in, I’m not going to lie to make him look like he’s done nothing wrong but I also know that is going to cost me everything.

[Lionsloth]

I did give a statement and support the polices investigation but it’s no further action (removed by moderator) and that’s my word against his effectively.
I don’t really know why he’s going mad now as he’s got away with it. Think most people would thank their lucky stars but it’s like he can’t get past the fact I told the police. I am sure a lot of it is trying to control/scare me but I also know what he’s like and have no doubt he’s going find a way to ‘destroy me’ as he says.

[Lionsloth]

Thank you both for your advice and kind words, it’s comforting to know it’s not just me and there’s hope that things will get better. It means a lot.
I did almost have counselling but bottled it as having to talk about it is like having to admit to myself what happened and after (detail removed by Moderator) years of playing things down and covering things up I guess my default is just to block it out. But other people’s involvement has kind of been like lifting the lid and now I can’t stuff it all back in the this didn’t happen part of my brain! The thing is I’m not sure I can cope with facing/acknowledging/talking about all that has happened.
I will try some of your other tips though and it’s reassuring to know that it doesn’t last forever and at some point he may get the f out of head! Thank you x

[Lionsloth]

No I am no longer with him and haven’t been for a long time but we have kids together and so he was still in our lives until (detail removed by moderator) when the police arrested him. This was without my support but lots of assurances were made and I gave a statement but in the end it was dropped and all the professionals who said they would support me disappeared and left me to deal with the consequences of opening my mouth. It’s been horrible, I’ve lost everything for nothing, am completely on my own with it and am the one who’s being punished. It’s certainly taught me one thing, never ask anyone for help again.

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