mummysgirl

[mummysgirl]

Anonymous I can totally agree with the minimizing our abuse I did the exact same kept saying Och it’s not that bad there are worse things that could happen. ..then I went to woman’s aid and she made me see exactly what he was doing to me.it’s like they kind of brain wash you into think their needs are the priority.

[mummysgirl]

Ive left him!!! I’ve come to my mums although it’s only 1 night I’ve been to woman’s aid who have been great they actually made me realise the full impact his abuse was having on me and my children. I just picked the girls up from school and never went home. He has messaged me non stop threatening me with things like if I don’t reply he’ll burn all my photos starting with one I have if my girls which he knows is my favourite he’s sent me a picture message of my little ornaments that mean a lot to me all smashed up …I keep telling myself these are only things and me and my girls are safe. But he really knows which buttons to push. I dread to think what the rest of the weekend brings. I’ve been offered refuse I’m a little apprehensive but I think I’m going to go. The pity and sympathy I had for him is slipping away gradually and all I feel is hurt anger and betrayal that he has made mine and my girls lives so miserable for so long. Thank you for reminding me what I’ll gain with my girls by getting out and staying out x

[mummysgirl]

Thanks for the kind words ….I’ve come back on just now cause I’m starting to really weakening today he’s mopping about with this sad lost look and I feel sorry for him he has no one through his own nasty behaviour.. please someone remind me how much better off me and my girls will be away from him…..I’m wracked with guilt that I’m planning to leave but Ii know it’s for the best this is what he does.now he’ll turn it round on me saying I’m uncaring and that’s it’s my fault for him being so angry all the time…just looking for some words if advice..Sorry rambling again!!!

[mummysgirl]

I want to leave my husband he’s been emotionally abusing me for years. We have 2 children who are now noticing the way he treats me my youngest (detail removed by moderator) gets scared and won’t leave my side for days afters she’s heard him shout at me the names he calls me should never be said in front of a child they are disgusting and humiliating. He threatens to lock the door if I go out …but I’m wracked with guilt that if I leave he’ll end up homeless and have no one as he doesn’t talk to his family he has no friends he says he doesn’t want to live or that he’ll go after certain members of my family this is is in the same breath that he’s telling me to leave cause he hates me. He says I lie and when I ask about what he says stuff like you said you’d have sex with me and then you didn’t he brings up stuff I did when I was in my teens going out with my friends stuff I did before we even met calls me a slut whore and lots more. Sorry I’ve rambled on a bit I wish I could get over the feeling sorry and pitying him cause that is the only reason I’m still hear. I’m putting him before me and my children and he doesn’t seem to see that.

[mummysgirl]

Thank you Lisa and white rose. Sometimes I thinks everything will be ok as there us periods he’s actually alright but the changes happen suddenly like a switch being flicked. I have been to my Dr who told me it was mental and sexual abuse which I was shocked at. I phoned the helpline number she gave me and they gave me a local helpline number which I haven’t phoned yet. He tells me to leave but then says if I do he’ll go after my brother (someone else he has fallen out with) I used to hide or make excuses for his behaviour cause I was embarrassed and felt it was my fault but now he makes it difficult for me to hide it cause he shows everyone his behaviour he’s not nice and very unpredictable in social situation he’s ok dishing out banter but when anyone says anything about him he gets aggressive and can’t take it. I don’t take him to any social events with me cause of the embarrassment and his unpredictable behaviir. He beat up a 17 years old friend of my brothers at my (removed by moderator) and still goes on about how it was the best £100 he’s every spent ( the boy told the police and he got fined) is him having anger issues different from the abuse he shows me. If he got help for anger would his behaviour change. He shows no remorse and never says sorry always says he’s stating facts.

[mummysgirl]

I’ve typed deleted typed a hundred times I really don’t know what to say .I’ve been with husband (removed by moderator) married (removed by moderator) I think I knew from the start he was a controlling bully but I thought I could change him. In the begining he would threaten to tell my mum and family personal things I had told him if we had had an argument. When we moved in he would threaten to throw my stuff out the window. Yes poured numerous drinks over me tipped the matteres when I’ve been sleeping. Calls me vile names says I was slut before met ( which I wasn’t) I did have a couple of one night stands but I was young and out having fun with my friends. He says things like you were fun before we met now your just a fridgid bitch. Constantly pressures me for sex groped me and says disgusting things that actually turn my stomach he makes my skin crawl but I’ve got to give into the pressure for a peaceful life. It’s all the small things that have happened over the years that have built up. But Christmas this year was the breaking point he was drunk and started an argument on Christmas night kept me up most of the night and I was begging him to keep quiet cause he was going to ruin this Christmas as the kids would have him screaming as a memory. I want to leave my mum wants me to leave and will give me and the kids somewhere to stay, but I feel guilty cause he has no one he’s fallen out with all his family and hasn’t spoken to them for years although I keep in touch with them. I’m scared if I leave he’ll have nothing and no one and I feel sorry for him. Sorry I’m all over the place trying to give you a picture of what he’s like. It’s like living on eggshells not knowing what kind of mood he’s going to be in. He gets angry and shouty at the least little thing like if I don’t shut a door over properly or leave a towel on the floor. I constantly try to keep the kids quiet so he doesn’t start on them . Sometimes I wish he would actually beat me so he can actually see what he’s doing to me because he doesn’t think he has a problem …I have tried talking to him and sometimes I do argue back cause I can gauge his moods now and when I can answer back and when to be quiet. He also bombards me with text messages and if I dint answer back right away I get oh that’s fine you don’t love me etc. Again sorry I’ve gone on and on but once I finally started typing everything he’s done over the years is coming back Crystal clear.

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