onceuponadream

[onceuponadream]

Thank you all for responding, I’m being assigned a support worker so hopefully, I can find a solution to this and ensure contact only continues through a third party.

[onceuponadream]

I can’t lie, that would make me feel worse, he can’t access it as it’s my medical records. I can’t go no contact as we share contact with the dog. I can’t give her up and he won’t so I’m stuck. I keep telling myself it was abuse and then talking myself out of it because I wasn’t physically abused. I just feel like I’m fighting alone.

[onceuponadream]

Hello,
I’ve just read your posts and am sat here crying, it’s something that I’m having difficulty dealing with myself, things started off ok with me and him but over time went downhill. Sexually it was all about his needs but after a tough year and starting to spiral into depression things ramped up to a point where he was only coming to bed for sex, if I refused he would huff and give me.the silent treatment, sometimes I would say no but he would ‘playfully’ force me until I just turned my head away and or hurried my head in his shoulder and cried, after he was done he would get out of bed and just go back downstairs leaving me feeling used and cheap, on the times in had the strength to stick my ground I would feel like a failure. When I confronted him about our lack of closeness hugs and cuddles which didn’t lead to sex (I eventually feared to touch him Incase I gave him the wrong idea) but he would say its my fault (detail removed by moderator). I’m still struggling to admit this was abuse and also keep making up.excuses. I think I will call the helpline to maybe help me come to terms with it. Thank you all X been out (detail removed by moderator) I’m still trying to get divorced.

[onceuponadream]

Omg, thank you guys x I’ve been burying my head in the sand and just collecting letters…x i shall try to contact someod those agencies later today… I feel like im dragging myself through sludge. I’m feeling quite odd too at the moment…. Like i have the internal panic and gut wrenching fear, thoughts of ‘i cant manage this, I can’t cope, I want to lock myself away’. But yet I have this other side which everybody else sees my face and body language portray calm, happy getting on with it, going to work (I have my own full time job aside from the business). And tbh it’s starting to creep me out… Its like there are two different me’s at the same time. Sometimes the panic is stronger other times the happy is stronger… Normally its about 40:60 at the same time between panic and happy…. Does that ring any bells with anyone or am I just loosing it.

Thanks again x

[onceuponadream]

Thank you so much for replying, I have a meeting with a local support group next week hoping to finally get some answers and try to put my head back together…or at least find the right path to follow. x

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