Pinklady

[Pinklady]

Hi Healthyarchiv,
Thanks for your advice, I will do! He is still trying to talk me round even now but I know that if I don’t let it go, I will be lost forever!
Now I know there is support & help out there, it’s giving me the strength I need to do this, so thank you.
Take care, stay safe & strong!
x

[Pinklady]

Hi,
God sounds just like my partner, IT’s Not your Fault, it’s his.
I am getting blamed for ruining our relationship, although not married thankfully.
You are not over reacting, I thought the same doubted myself but my gut instinct was screaming at me, the way I’m being treated isn’t right, but still you go over everything & anything, was it because I did this or that?
No it’s because they’re losing the control they have over you even though you have only just realised your situation.
Get online if you can & read, read, read that’s the advice I got and it’s been amazing helping me to cope each day.

Keep posting, this site is invaluable and the helpline ladies are so supportive, I only joined a couple of days ago, it’s taken me months to realise what is happening, and while it’s not easy, knowing you are not alone makes a huge difference.
Take care, be strong & stay safe, good luck
xx

[Pinklady]

Hi Eeyorenomore,
Thanks for your reply & advice I have been doing some reading and found that lovebombing & gaslighting are very informative!
It’s quite amazing once you start looking into things, how much you recognise yourself & the abuser, although also upsetting & to be truthful I’m also angry at myself for being such a fool.

At the moment, he is trying the nice approach after a couple of days of horrendous emotional abuse.
He knows it’s over for me and because this time I’m not listening to him, using the don’t bite back method, he is getting frustrated which obviously I am wary of, so now he’s changing tactics!
I can’t believe how strong I’m being, I have applied to do some voluntary work to get me out and am looking at accommodation, which is difficult due to my financial restraints but it’s giving me hope!

I will continue to gain as much info as possible and I hope all’s ok with you?
Thanks for your support, at least now I don’t feel so alone & know that there is help out there.

Stay safe & strong!
xx

[Pinklady]

Hi, thanks for your words of encouragement, I suppose I didn’t expect to feel like this, silly me thought I’d be relieved & happy!
I got a call from helpline though, who said it was perfectly ” normal” for me a this stage.
I’m getting constant calls & messages from him even though I’ve blocked him, it’s all going to the filter, so I have a record.
They’ve also given me some good advice, which I intend to follow through in morning.

As for the tears, I shut down my emotions about 6 months ago as it was the only way I could cope with the reality of it all and if I’m honest about it, his words & actions didn’t hurt as much… however now it seems that maybe I shouldn’t have done???
I don’t know, one minute it all disappears & the next I’m a wreck…
How do you keep strong when your hearts breaking inside it just hurts so fing much fng

[Pinklady]

I’m not looking after myself much if I’m honest, my appetite has gone awol, I can’t sleep, have no motivation to do anything!
I thank you for your support though, that does help despite how I’m feeling, to know there are others going through this and fighting back.
Will I ever get back to being me, happy, living life and free sometimes I think not, but I try to keep hopeful.

[Pinklady]

Hi,
Thank you for your kind words, I am abit emotional after a few days of consistent emotional battering, so please bear with me
This forum is helping me though, reinforcing what I know I must do, but it’s just so hard…

I’m feeling so sad and alone, I’m so confused as well, I’m on my own most of the time with no-one to talk too, so this place is a godsend for me.
I just can’t seem to stop crying, I try really hard to stay positive but find it to be honest really difficult.
Is this normal? So many emotions & feelings jamming up my head, that I don’t seem to be able to make sense of anything at the moment.

I keep visualising my own place, safe secure with no-one telling me what I can & can’t do, how I should feel, think etc, it’s what I want but the fear of being so alone with these thoughts in my head scares me.

A friend has told me I can go stay with them until I get sorted but its a male friend and I don’t really want to be around men at the moment, as I feel too vulnerable and Know I am.
So refuge seems the option, but why is it so difficult to just say yes & go…
I can’t save any money as he controls the finances & I don’t have access to it, I don’t want to ask either because it would have to be “strictly accounted” for!

I have tried to sort through my stuff, get so far then break down again & end up in a heap on the floor….
am I having a breakdown or is this normal reaction to my situation, just can’t tell.

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