PuDdleJam

[PuDdleJam]

It’s now got to the point that I’m being criticised on everything I do down from doing the washing apparently the wrong way to even making the bed.

I’m sick of it and he wonders why I get so upset and emotional.

If he snaps at me, I have to take it but if I open my mouth and snap back then I’m the one in the wrong. I don’t call him names like how he calls me and my confidence has been shot to hell so much so I now am starting to believe what he calls me is true 😔

[PuDdleJam]

My partner is exactly the same but sometimes does it sly in public as well. He seems to think that certain songs or what some people are saying are very relatable and calls me vulnerable if I ever speak to anyone about anything.

[PuDdleJam]

Even though I’ve had a calm few days, my mental health is seriously suffering as I keep wondering when the next Jekyll attack is coming.

I hate having to pretend all is normal for now and just want to escape

[PuDdleJam]

My mum knows everything and we are doing secret messages as and when a certain person is out the room like now. Unfortunately she can’t do much as she lives a fair distance from me and the kids but is helping me with an emergency escape fund.

It’s difficult to do what you said regarding making calls when at GP for smear etc as he waits for me constantly. I am never on
my own at all and I always have to leave phone at home

[PuDdleJam]

He doesn’t work at all so we are under each other’s feet 24/7

[PuDdleJam]

So we went to my mothers (detail removed by moderator) and due to a certain person who clearly didn’t want to be there, we went home the day after (detail removed by moderator) which my mum thought was very rude. Within half an hour of getting up, the car was packed and we were heading home. It made me very upset as I haven’t spent (detail removed by moderator) with my mum in such a long time and after having sly digs about my friend who I saw on my own last time I was there, I felt very uncomfortable.

Now my mum wants me and my kids down to spend time with her soon but not the certain person but I know he will have something to say about it all and become extremely paranoid as usual.

 

[PuDdleJam]

(detail removed by Moderator) his mother and sister came over and when he was out the room I explained everything that’s gone on to them and then he overhear and kicked off telling them they need to stop taking my side and because I burst into tears, he accused me of using crocodile tears over it all.

He thinks everything is ok now but I still want to get him to leave and have no contact with me at all but it’s so hard when I know he’s just making things difficult.

I just wish he would turn to me and tell
Me he is leaving me without me having to do it myself and then I know nothing can be used against me.

[PuDdleJam]

My head is such a mess!!

My autistic child let it slip to my partner that I wanted to leave him and move with both my kids and he went mental!!

Things since he found out have now calmed down but I still want to leave. It got me so worked up when he found out that I had a massive breakdown.

Do I just keep planning in my head and keep building my escape fund up so I can get out ASAP or do I just have to sit back in complete silence and just carry on as things are normal for the sake of him??

Really am so low and down over this and now I see no way out of this without constantly thinking I’m hurting him.

[PuDdleJam]

Ok maybe I spoke to soon on my previous post. I’ve been called more names and now he is trying to get my autistic child who doesn’t understand what’s happening that I’m going to mess their head up and I’m going to move in with the said friend who he accused me of cheating on him with when I went to see my family and that said friend is going to be their new daddy.

I am so close to breaking point and I know I need to do something but it’s so hard especially when I have no where to go!!

[PuDdleJam]

So the past couple of days have surprising beien ok after a rough week but he still has no idea that I want to leave him and move away as far as possible with my children. I’m still building my escape fund and I am trying to keep as normal as possible.

I have also have an encrypted file on my phone where I just keep adding to about what’s going on when it all kicks off!

How can anyone be like Jekyll and Hyde is beyond me.

Hope everyone is ok on here. Stay safe xxx

[PuDdleJam]

Today I’ve now been out to be the one who is ruining our relationship by not telling him about talking to friends etc. He says he doesn’t mind me having friends and talking to them but doesn’t like me being sneaky when I’m not. I just feel like if I told him that I was talking to someone I’d get that I’m attention seeking again or I’m slagging him off.

Have now also messaged a family member with some advice as they work for the police so waiting on a response.

Can’t take this anymore. Mental health is seriously struggling.

[PuDdleJam]

No you’re not as bad. It’s called trying to survive the best you can. I do the same as it’s the only way I make myself feel safe.

Never put yourself in the same category hun.

Much love xxx

[PuDdleJam]

Seriously can’t cope right now! One minute he’s all nice and then next I’m being compared to his ex’s who one got him in to serious debt, another lashed out at him and the main one he actually caught in the act cheating on him.

I’ve been moaned at (detail removed by moderator) about not washing up properly, been called thick and dumb for getting more than one anti bacterial wipe out the packet and just general grumbles. I just wish I had a magic wand to get myself and the kids outta here now. Super frustrating!!

On the upside, I’ve put more in my emergency fund so it’s building up slowly.

I know people are saying I need to get legal advice but I don’t actually need it as everything is in my name, I have no financial ties to him and the house is solely in my name and the kids have no ties to him either.

So hard to speak to anyone professional on my next move when he is constantly under my feet and lurking around even before lockdown!!!

[PuDdleJam]

Unfortunately a refuge isn’t an option as I have two children who have additional needs and one is studying (detail removed by moderator) at the moment.
I am lucky that my house is solely in my name but unfortunately unless i have a shower or go on my daily walk with my youngest, it’s the only time I have when I don’t get him going on at me and chance to speak to people hence why I am messaging back now. I don’t have any friends or family around my area so I can’t even go to their house for safety as they all live miles away and I don’t even drive.
I may add I also get timed if I go to the toilet, get snapped at if I make him a fag wrong or even a cup of coffee.

I know I need to get out ASAP but it’s so hard when I have no where to go and don’t trust him in my house alone as he has previously threatened to smash it all up in the past and tell my ex husband where I am etc when I have a full non contact order in place and knowing how dangerous his family are.
Xx

[PuDdleJam]

(detail removed by moderator) was horrible!! I ended up crying myself to sleep as he thought I was hiding things and snatched my phone out my hands and I was screaming to give it back to the point I was trying to grab it off him. He called me all the names under the sun and said I attacked him when all I was trying to do was get my phone back and he demanded to look through it and accused me of changing someone’s name on my phone to hide the fact it was a bloke which is seriously not true all because I got a chain message in my messenger inbox.
My throat is so sore and I feel awful this morning. I know I can’t go on like this anymore. He also told me he had taken (detail removed by moderator) tablets and would take more.
I feel so alone and awful 😭😢😭😭

[PuDdleJam]

Hi all I am new to this and I am so desperate to speak to someone.

I’ve been with my current partner for nearly (removed by moderator) years who helped me get out of a tough situation with my ex husband and his family and even took a beating ( I did too) from them because I moved on with my life.

I will firstly admit when we got together I (removed by moderator) and he found out but he stuck by me and my kids.
Ever since then because what I’ve gone through with my ex’s family I tend to tell little fibs ( which I know I shouldn’t but please don’t judge me) just to keep the peace but over the past (removed by moderator) years, if I don’t tell him something or he finds out something, I start getting names called, telling me he doesn’t believe a word I say and just generally being nasty but never physical.

A few months ago I went to a friends ( male I may add- known him years) house when I was visiting my mother and because my young daughter told him when we got back home as I hadn’t mentioned it, he accused me of everything and anything when nothing happened at all. I went to see the friends mother more than him.
To this day he still thinks I’m up to things behind his back, feel like I can’t talk to my friends because he accuses me of cheating and starting the conversation and that I’m just attention seeking constantly.

I’ve had to hide the fact I use social media because he thinks I’m looking at men’s profiles etc.

It’s having a major impact on my mental health as it is and I’ve already decided I want to leave him and got the support of my family behind on it all. I also have a escape fund building.

Am I being abused or over reacting? Have tried leaving him but it’s just so difficult when I’ve explained to him, he just twists everything round and puts the blame on me.

Please help xx

[PuDdleJam]

Unfortunately due to him constantly being around, I cannot contact via the web chat. Only time he is not around me is when he is on the loo or getting changed. Otherwise he is around me all the time.

He has even told me he has lost all interest in his favourite activities that he used to enjoy like bike (detail removed by moderator) all because he doesn’t trust me at all.

I feel suffocated and can’t even put the washing away without him thinking I’m on a secret phone or something

[PuDdleJam]

Currently not coping. Was accused of cheating on him again and he says he knows how people’s minds work all because I didn’t show him much attention for a couple of days baring in mind I always do.

Just feel like he’s trying to also play the kids off against me and has said nasty things about my mother like she’s easy etc which I haven’t told her about as she would go mental.

All I want to do is speak to friends or anyone without being called vunruble which apparently I am and now I am starting to also believe that I am some of the names he calls me like stupid, thick and worthless.

I really just want to be able to speak to a professional without him being around but he is like a hawk and I really can’t go anywhere or do anything without him asking questions or anything

[PuDdleJam]

Everything is solely in my name and the kids are from previous relationships so they have no legal tie to my partner so don’t really need legal advice.

Police have just told me to contact 101 if things get too bad or call 999.

I’m now not even allowed in his eyes to go out apart from the local shop on my own unless I leave my phone at home cos he says all the trust has gone. I’m going seriously crazy now.

Think I need to speak to my family whenever I get some alone time and maybe give them a code word so they can contact the police for me when they know it’s gone even further than it has now!

[PuDdleJam]

Thank you so so much! It feels so good hearing it from someone who is experienced it too!!
I am quite lucky that everything that is in my home and all finances are in my name only so that’s something I suppose.

It’s just so hard that all I do is find myself dreaming about a better life for myself and my kids.

I will also add that if we don’t have any sexual contact because who would want to be intimate with someone who calls you names. He automatically assumes that I’ve had it from the friend I visited or I’m thinking about someone else.

I am just so grateful that I can get on here and write things that is going on with my life with no one twisting it all but still
Have to be careful that he doesn’t catch me doing it.

Will start writing things down on what he’s said etc in a book which I will also hide and just keep adding to.

Much love xxx

[Author]

Posts