Reachingout

[Reachingout]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply.
My ex is such a nasty and manipulative person that if he knew social services were involved he would stick the knife in and make stuff up to make me look bad. He is so desperate not to pay for our son that I have no doubt that he would be happy to see him taken away in the hope it would mean he doesn’t have to pay anymore. Hes so unpredictable it scares me. I want to accept the help that has been offered to me but I feel like I’m failing my little boy by putting him in the position of being reviewed by SS. He is my miracle and the little boy I have dreamt of. He is my life. I feel selfish for asking for help, like I should be able to deal with this on my own but I just can’t. The abuse I get my from my ex is crippling me and I feel like a failure for struggling with it.

[Reachingout]

There’s nothing to report because he just says its arguments. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. (detail removed by moderator). I literally can’t win.

[Reachingout]

Thank you both. I have tried to go for a contact centre but (detail removed by moderator). The abuse has got worse because I went to the CMS and they doubled what he was paying. I’ve tried to do everything through agencies etc. I’m literally trapped. He says if I drop the CMS claim then he will stop as hes overpaying me. I don’t want this to be about money. I want it to be about giving our little boy the best life possible but he doesn’t see it that way. I’m running out of options.

[Reachingout]

Thank you Kip. I completely agree. He ignores anything to do with our son. I called him to tell him our son might need to go to hospital and he ignored me. I sent him a photo of our son and he ignored it. I text him to tell him I needed to change a contact day and he took (detail removed by moderator) to reply to me. I told him I couldn’t take our son to contact because we were self isolating as my parents both had covid and he started threatening me with court. I just can’t cope with how much he controls me. We live far apart but he still controls everything. He says he shouldn’t pay me maintenance because (detail removed by moderator). He won’t listen when I try to explain this isn’t true.

[Reachingout]

I agree with walkerintherain. I too have tried the get out and get on approach and I crashed and burned. My counsellor and best friend have told me the same as your counsellor. Take time to do things i enjoy and take my time healing. Don’t feel bad for taking your time. Your healing is the most important thing x

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