Recovery

[Recovery]

And they are very good at being nice, loving one minute and complete opposite in next. It’s confusion game. Don’t let it fool you. Mine is now telling me I’m the greatest love of his life and will do anything to get me back after all insults and threats and abuse. I find it hard to believe. How can it be love. Would you hurt him the way he hurts you? Ask yourself that. Healthy relationships are based on care, respect, true love. Respect is the key. They have none!

[Recovery]

Hi
I’m in similar situation, newly married and ignored the signs when we were dating. I knew something was off with him but couldn’t put my finger on it then. Bombarded with love and affection blinded me. You need to sit down and think if there were signs before wedding. There is no excuse for him to behave like that. Mine is verbal and emotional abuse. Name calling, swearing , creating arguments out of blue and blaming me for all, blaming his exes, family for failures., shouting etc. you can’t discuss anything with him or have opinion. These are some signs. I always thought his messy childhood is the reason and he will get through it but reality is he was getting worse. Finally I moved out on the (detail removed by Moderator) of our marriage. Still feeling guilty and sad and embarrassed. My work doesn’t know anything about it. How can I tell them I’m getting divorce when I only got married. Counselling helps to get you through these thoughts. Check through your work as private insurances cover these if you have one. Or get support else where. It’s abuse. It’s Not easy to be treated like that, when you read some books about abuse you realize they don’t change, it’s pattern sadly. Good luck and all the best. You are not alone

[Recovery]

Omg! Same pattern all over the place. My husband (new!) but will be (ex!) hopefully soon is the same. I’m an amazing wife in the morning and a c*** , b*** same afternoon cause I get nervous with his crap driving. He loved me and he despises me, he shouts, swears (even on our honeymoon!) he is always right I’m always wrong. I upgraded my life by marrying him (it’s a huge downgrade actually!), trying to change my own reality. He knows it all, I know nothing, all arguments are cause of me , standing up for myself is me having vile temper. Really??!! They all
Carry same pattern sadly cause of theIr own messed up childhood and insecurities. I cried my eyes out to the point Of fainting after his insults and abuse. Now thinking and knowing it’s not me, it’s him!!! Same for you too. Don’t let him get to you. It’s all his insecurities talking.

[Recovery]

Please get out. It will only get worse. My honeymoon was hell too. Swearing, insults , blaming and all. Set your boundaries, read books about it. Really helps! From books we learn how to communicate with them and stop the abuse to get to you. I left (detail removed by Moderator) before our (detail removed by Moderator) year anniversary and now on zero contact phase. He is begging, promising he will take therapy and all but still I’m to be blamed for leaving. All games. Be strong. Life is better without them! You will see. X

[Recovery]

Hi
Similar situation. I got married to an abuser too. On our (detail removed by Moderator) anniversary last month he threatened to divorce me (all games). I left his place (detail removed by Moderator) ago due to nervous break down. He was always abusive and manipulative from day one of dating but very CharMing, loving etc at the same time. I didn’t want to see the signes of his bad childhood, negativity, name calling, swearing, demeaning, blames. Married him thinking with my positiveness he would change. Wrong!!!! He got worse. He swore at me 3 times on our honeymoon and shouted at me at a dinner table out of blue. All is my fault. He takes no blame or apologizes until you point it out to him. If I didn’t leave home for a few days I’d never realize the abuse. Verbal and mental abuse continued. Now from readings, counseling and friends I know where I stand and will take my life back. Being married less than (detail removed by Moderator) to divorce is hurting a lot. He now tells me he will do anything to get me back. He will Get therapy and all. Not sure what to do yet. Feeling guilty of leaving. (detail removed by Moderator).him and his family are using this against me to make me feel bad and guilty.im husband deserter righ now. But they don’t want to see that the reason is not (detail removed by Moderator) its abuse. I gave up justifying myself. Now focused on getting my power back and move on. Don’t believe they’d ever change. But we can change ourselves to be strong, improve self awareness, read, look after ourselves as our well being is the most important thing.

[Recovery]

Hi

I’m new here too. It’s abuse in whichever angle you look at it. I had no idea until I had nervous break down and left the house for a few days. It’s now (detail removed by Moderator) I haven’t seen him or talked to him. But his verbal and mental abuse continued on emails and texts until I finally realized the situation I’m in thanks to friends pointed out. As newly married person I’m still struggling to let go and in shock of how and why I let myself in this mess. Highly recommend to get help from
Friends you can trust, talking helps and read, read, read about emotional, verbal abuse, how to set boundaries and how to stop the abuse. Reading opened a new door to my life and make me feel strong.please Get a kindle application on your phone (free) and sign up to 30 days free memberships in amazon kindle and read as much as you can about it. I can guarantee you will start to realize what’s happening and you are not alone. I told my husband I want zero contact last few weeks and that allowed me to get my power back and now ready to face him and his insults, I now he will continue till he gets me back. Please Get counseling too. It really helps a lot. Be strong. Realizing the problem is a huge step already, the rest is self education, seeking support x

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