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Hi ladies,

Had a call from police earlier today and he has pleaded not guilty to all charges…. There is another court date set for (detail removed by moderator)… I am worried now that he will be released on bail and I am sure he will try to get to me 🙁
Can’t sleep now with all worries and thoughts going through my head …. 🙁

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Hi Trapped,

Report it to the police as soon as possible please. Don’t let it escalate any more. I let it slide for (detail removed by Moderator) months and it ended up in him attacking me with a weapon! At that point I called 999 and I cannot say enough how great police were and how much they helped me and my kids and went above and beyond to make sure me and kids were safe.
Don’t be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of – he is the one who is abusing you, scaring you and everything he does is on purpose and he knows exactly what he is doing so don’t be afraid, call 999 and report it.
Strength and prayers to you xx

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Hi ladies

Another update …. He had been (detail removed by moderator) and broke his bail conditions by coming to see me… I was terrified and although he was apologetic and asking for another chance, I went to police again. He ran off as soon as he saw I am speaking to police. Officers came with me to the house to arrest him again if he shows up. He used our son and sent him messages asking for me to speak with him and give him another chance, he played on my son’s emotions to the point that my son was in hysterics. He was arrested again as he came to the house…. I was assured he will be in custody now at least till (detail removed by moderator).
I am trying to stay strong ladies.. Please send me your prayers xxx

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Hi ladies,
Just an update- he assaulted me and I rang the police. He got arrested and will go to court (detail removed by moderator) as I made a statement. My landlord changed the locks on the door and I hope he won’t be allowed to see or contact me or kids for some time. Police will arrange all necessary help and support for me and kids. We are safe finally now!
Thank you all for your prayers and support xx

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Thank you all ladies for the advice, it is much appreciated xx
It has been a bit of time now since the last occurrence and he is acting as “normal” and being all nice with me so I am quite confused now what to do but your all replied are very much appreciated and helpful and I have now few options to consider xx

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Hi Ineedabreakplease,
Sorry to hear about what you are going through but I can absolutely relate to what you are saying because I am in the same situation as you are…..
I want to leave but fear about the kids and what will my husband do… just the same isolation and fear to speak about the abuse with anyone… I am not that brave and one day I am really ready to go but another I am not and doubting everything.
I am doing what Watersprite has described and step by step getting ready internally to leave.
Take your time, educate yourself and when you are ready, contact Womens Aid.
Sending positive thoughts and hugs to you snd your kids xx

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Thank you xxx

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Thank you for advice xx Kids are already on bail conditions and I have a support worker from WA assigned to me who is in contact.
I am not doing well with eating though …
My heart is absolutely breaking for my son and I don’t know how I can help him now. I have been told that my case will be heard by MARAC shortly as well.
Just hope he will not try to contact us again after yesterday’s events and will follow bail conditions….

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Hi Bettertimesahead

Thank you and although me and kids are safe now, I worry for the future but hopeful that with all support of the services I can start to slowly rebuild my life xxx

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Hi Lisa,

Thank you for your response, I will call police as a last resort if he doesn’t leave today by himself. Thank you all for your support and advice.

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Hi Iliketea,

I have spoken to Womens Aid and also with (detail removed by moderator) refuge centre. WA have logged everything and will refer me to social worker. Refuge advised to involve police and I had messaged him saying(detail removed by moderator). I am still out of the house at the moment.

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Hi Hopefortomorrow,

Thank you for your advice. I have been thinking of the ways to do it for a few days now. I feel like I am finding excuses for not doing it as I am so afraid to tell anyone that knows me personally and knows him of what’s been happening.
I am sorry if it feels like I am not taking advices, I do and it helps me think as well so thank you all lovely ladies for your responses.

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Hi ISOPeace,

Thank you for your response. I haven’t contacted Womans Aid yet, I tried several times and hang up before the call reached 🙁 Just shows how weak I am …… Unfortunately, there is no option to email my GP in the practice and before I can get a call with her, I should fill in the form online to state the reason for the call and then they will respond giving time slot (am or pm) when GP will call back so I cannot control the call time even if I ask for a specific time…. They may call when he is around and then I won’t be able to talk openly….

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Hi Eggshells,

Thank you for your response. My problem also is if I go to GP, he will come with me – he doesn’t let me go alone anywhere 🙁
Even if GP will believe me and cut her ties with him, and he will find out, it will not be good for me. I was thinking if there is a way to ask them to keep it confidential and not refer me anywhere? More for the record in case I need proof later on?

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Hi Wants to Help,

Thank you for your response and I so agree with everything you have said but I am not ready yet to make the next step 🙁 Still here, still with him and still in the same situation. Sometimes I get angry with myself for not acting, for thinking how difficult it is for him and not thinking how it is for me and my kids. I told him that I want to be alone with kids and want him out. He said I can start divorce proceedings if I want ( he knows I don’t have finances to support it) but then he again started acting all nice and lovely and this messed with my mind again. He will be all nice for day, two tops and then goes down to silent treatment, subtle comments, looking all doom and gloom until the next explosion. It is a circle I have come to know all so well in the past months that I can see it coming from miles away… And still I do nothing… And this just makes me feel weak and that I failed my kids so badly….

I have dialed Womens Aid few times and hung up before the call went through, I have read about various support options again and again and done nothing. The only thing I had done is making notes of the abuse incidents with dates and what had happened….

I look around at people smiling in the streets, on TV and think whether I will be able to smile like this again ever ? Right now it feels like it will never end.

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