Babyface@

[Babyface@]

I’m like this in my current relationship this is my second abusive one. I’m still kind of in denial hoping as gets older he will soften. I have fear of abandonment and I’d say every day now he threatens to leave. He knows how that makes me feel. If my daughters room is a mess or her bf stays to long he can leave me for days with no contact . I know it’s punishment. He will do drugs with his friends and when he comes back he’s on a come down. Even when he’s not on one I have to listen to him rant all morning until he goes out. I sit in silence now because if I retaliate he threatens to go. Also to top it off he won’t work.

I want things to change I get all set to get myself out of this. Once he’s gone I crumble. It’s hard to explain panic sets in, I can’t sleep 😕 I have nightmares. I can’t eat. I can’t function I just feel lost in the world completely alone. I know this sounds dramatic 🙄. I just feel very disregulated. I know I need to get therapy although I don’t believe it will work ?

So sorry I’ve hijacked your post.

I jumped on to essentially say I feel exactly the same.

Let’s hope we can find a way forward.

Love babyface

Xxxx

[Babyface@]

Ive experienced this it is very triggering. I’ve bounced around jobs over the last three years because of this. Lots of bosses seem to be (detail removed by moderator) There are some good you tube videos on how to assert yourself in a purely professional manner. I would be in tears sometimes behind my computer screen 😭 with the constant criticism. Think when we get triggered we just want to run out off the room. Panic sets in. She probably cottoned on to the fact you had been in an abusive situation and took advantage. The last manager I would actually class as sadistic. They are out there and they can be calculating. The best advice is to leave if you can. After six attempts and a bouncing up and down (date wise) CV this job so far has no bully’s. I’ve kept my private life to myself and tried hard to go in with an attitude like I’m not here to be liked I’m here to do my job. Hope this helps little xx

[Babyface@]

Hi there I’m sorry he sounds just awful 😖 so cruel to you. My advice to you would be pack up in secret. Get all your documents together and your essentials. Arrange through women’s aid to go into refuge. My close friend did this her ex was of the stalker variety. She escaped from him totally but this is how she first left. You need to wait until you know he’s definitely at work. Have someone with you if you can when you leave with your things. Sort out your flat later from a distance. You then need to go no contact with him. Block him on everything. This is the hard part because we’re trauma bonded to these men. You need proper expert back up the whole way through this. We can support you. The police will protect you, WA will guide you and your GP cam get you therapy. You can do this and this is how I know many have.

I think this guy is very dangerous

You need to protect yourself.

Devise your plan. Refuge is actually OK sometimes you get your own flat. I know it’s scarey but from a practical point these are your first steps.

Keep your cards close to your chest until your safely away.He can’t do anything.

My ex would think twice about contacting me now as I’m a stranger to him. It’s very hard to believe but that’s honestly how it is for me with him xx

[Babyface@]

Yeh this is normal there is a huge void. Its very different when an abusive relationship ends to when it’s a healthy one. They intentionally leave us isolated and without support its anxiety provioking. What you’ve done is brave. What you did was the right thing. It took me about (detail removed by Moderator) years to feel better. Then I met someone else and fell into the same trap! So I guess being vulnerable still we can choose to quickly. I hind sight maybe it’s best to be alone I’m not sure it does get better though with time its been (detail removed by Moderator) years for me and I’d say I’m over him xx

[Babyface@]

I’m sorry to here that it can be so hard to push yourself to do stuff. I try to get out for long walks with the dog I feel quite lost tbh.

It’s lovely to find a niche here if that makes senses I’m actually quite relieved reaching out xx so it is nice to meet you

[Babyface@]

Oh god this is me i feel l exactly the same!! It’s like abusive men go to the same school 🏫 😪 it’s justba crazy cycle. We know how this ruins our mental health but it’s a trap xxxx

Over the last few years I feel like I’m going nuts

[Babyface@]

Sorry for the typos

[Babyface@]

I’ve done this twice too now.The problem is I don’t think people have any idea this happens by chance not by choice 🤔 I feel so isolated are you finding the same?

[Author]

Posts