browneyedgirl

[browneyedgirl]

Thank you for the replies. I have tried to relax about the court case. Couldn’t get out of bed today after kids left for contact. Thankfully a friend came round and drew me round. Can’t sleep yet again but I am not tearful so that’s so start. Happy New Year to you all xxxx

[browneyedgirl]

I wrote this as I am so low after a conversation with my Mum it is untrue. I told her, the way I feel right now I don’t want to be with him and she replied well that’s a huge decision and for 4 children. I replied “I know that” She then said “No (my name) I don’t think you do. She was very critical about how I handle things. Now I just feel like a cr*p wife, mother in fact person. I obviously as the one at fault so why is she so adamant that I don’t go and just end my life. She only cares how it will affect my Dad. It’s ok for me to be unhappy then. Well I am sorry but unhappy is such a weak word for.how I feel right now

[browneyedgirl]

My Mum rang me this morning. I was in tears. I had texted saying I am at the end of my tether. She said I should have just booked into Relate when advised to by social worker. Maybe I should, whatever happens now I realise my parents just want me to fight for this marriage till it puts me in my grave. They know it’s one sided but they say I still need to carry on fighting. I told mother in law he has backed out of getting any further help and she just sat on the fence, saying she didn’t want to interfere (yet normally she can’t wait to stick her oar in) and all she could say was we should get a cleaner. I began to go with it, even felt if both sets of parents think I should fight more maybe I should. Then he rejected the idea of a cleaner saying I need to get the kids to help more. He has tried to be nice to me tonight but I just feel dead inside. I can’t help feeling that if I was dead, none of this would matter, all the upset, hurt, tears and my panics would all go away. Everyone would be so much better off without me if I am the one who has to keep improving. Social services said I was a great Mum but I can’t see a way out of this without leaving them so what does that really make me

[browneyedgirl]

Don’t know where to start. Very depressed. Told husband he has till 1st March for things to change. Some things have got better but some things have got worse. Friends say he is controlling me and I am being emotionally abused. Social services have been involved since last Summer and they say the same. I know the children are being damaged but until recently I didn’t even believe in divorce so am finding the thought of the next stage very hard. He told social worker when she ended our case 2 weeks ago he would try relate but now he refuses. When I say I am.moving out he state “nobody is moving out” so don’t know where to go from here.

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