My Mum rang me this morning. I was in tears. I had texted saying I am at the end of my tether. She said I should have just booked into Relate when advised to by social worker. Maybe I should, whatever happens now I realise my parents just want me to fight for this marriage till it puts me in my grave. They know it’s one sided but they say I still need to carry on fighting. I told mother in law he has backed out of getting any further help and she just sat on the fence, saying she didn’t want to interfere (yet normally she can’t wait to stick her oar in) and all she could say was we should get a cleaner. I began to go with it, even felt if both sets of parents think I should fight more maybe I should. Then he rejected the idea of a cleaner saying I need to get the kids to help more. He has tried to be nice to me tonight but I just feel dead inside. I can’t help feeling that if I was dead, none of this would matter, all the upset, hurt, tears and my panics would all go away. Everyone would be so much better off without me if I am the one who has to keep improving. Social services said I was a great Mum but I can’t see a way out of this without leaving them so what does that really make me
