Free petal

[Free petal]

I think as well I am so worried about the whole process with the police . (Detail removed by moderator). It’s just me who atm can’t deal with it. What happens When and if they speak with him . What happens with my son and contact as I’m feeling that even though he has a good relationship with my little boy once everything comes out could they stop contact ? I am petrified of that happening as he sees my son all the time (removed by moderator). I am just a mess with the Constant what ifs ? I feel like the life I am used to is going to fall apart

[Free petal]

Hi Twisted sister thank you so much for your thoughts . Your words really ring true for me and part of me knows after all this time something should be done but I’m so very scared and completely lost on how I feel with it all. I am worried about how his family will cope as I am still very close with them . They know what he did to us all and looking back they probably wanted me to report him but I felt so guilty for him that I couldn’t which again is crazy I know. I am worried they will think why now after all these years ?. I still have a very unpredictable time with him as he can be ok one minute and horrible the next but I just kind of accept it as I’m not with him. I’m divorced and the contact is because of our son. This is eating me up and I feel overwhelmed with what to do for the best. X

[Free petal]

Thank you all for your kind replys. I am glad to know it’s kind of normal to feel like this. I can see also how feeling numb is probably my way of coping with it all. I hope I can get more strength as each day passes by xx

[Free petal]

Hi I really feel for you having your wishes completely ignored like that by the police. The problem is sometimes we just need to talk to someone about the abuse but at that moment that’s all we can emotionally cope with. To then go completely against you and not understand the impact it will have is unacceptable. Yes we want to be free of our abusers but in a time that’s right for us . I really hope you are ok xx

[Free petal]

I really can relate to how you are feeling right now. If you can PM me and I can chat to you X

[Free petal]

I need some advice on how to actually break free from the abusive cycle and be able to move forward without feeling guilty on how he might feel and his family .

[Free petal]

I feel as though all the time I listen to everyone’s advice and say yes you are right I will do something but then I do nothing and I am now at a point where I feel am I actually not right as surely I should have the strength to fight him seeing as I left him . I am safe inyou own home. I just can’t pinpoint what stops me. Nobody understands me. They all support me but I am scared I will lose them too as they are seeing me as a woman who knows the right thing but does nothing so the abuse continues

[Free petal]

OK thanks I didn’t think of victim support as a port of call but sounds like a good place to start and see maybe what they think to involving the police. Just hope someone can help me in moving forward with this nightmare. So drained with it all. I thought leaving after leaving him after (detail removed by Moderator) years. (detail removed by Moderator) years down the line things would be a little better but it just seems to be never ending . I have done the freedom programme and had counselling but still I feel like the trauma bond I seem to have with him and the fear just doesn’t subside. I know he will never hit me again but it’s the emotional abuse that is disabling me to move forward and do the right thing . Not only for me but for my children too. My eldest two are now getting fed up of me not taking action. They are so supportive but are starting to get very fed up with me and I am struggling to get this fight in me

[Free petal]

Thank you to you all for replying to me . It does make me feel I’m not alone with this. Yes I went to a phone shop earlier but they said they couldn’t do anything as it’s text messages and it’s not backed up. I rang tesco who I’m with they gave me a website to try which I’m desperate to do but tonight my laptop has decided to freeze up on me . I know I have to do something as it is all getting out of hand but I’m scared of reporting to police as I feel now that without concrete proof of his ways they won’t be able to take things further. Has anyone else got any advice on dealing with the police and should I ask to speak to someone from the domestic violence unit ? X

[Free petal]

Thank you for your reply I will try to go on computer to retrieve texts. I just feel so helpless now as it’s like he has won as even though everyone including his family knows what he is like . If I get the strength to even think of going to court for proper contact arrangements otheor decide to report him. There now is zero proof of any of the abusive messages I received from him which were all awful and showed completely how he was behaving towards me.don’t want to give up but feel so deflated and stuck. I feel like my little boy is so in admiration of his dad I stand no chance now of proving how manipulative and controlling he actually is

[Free petal]

Thank you living warrior for your reply it has really helped me today as has everyone else’s responses that I have been reading back. I haven’t seen my son since (detail removed by moderator) and I know he has to return him today as it’s school tomorrow but I have been feeling just as broken again as I did (detail removed by moderator) ago when I found the strength to leave him. I know ow I got to dig deep and do something now before I end up ill.I just can’t comprehend why after all this time he still won’t just play ball with what is very simple arrangements. But I’m not going to let him carry on abusing me . I got to now take control back which scares the hell out of me but now I got no choice but to do so

[Free petal]

Meant to say I would like to know.

[Free petal]

Thanks for all the advice. Very helpful . I wouldon’t like to know a little more about your story . What happened. What you went through as I beed the strength and knowledge now more than ever X

[Free petal]

Some really good advice. Thanks so much xx. Yes I have all his vile messages and I’m just trying to think of who I can ask to be a third party in this to help.as I’m still close to his sister I would have asked her but I get the impression they are sick of the drama and won’t get involved .

[Free petal]

Sorry my error it meant to say at end of my message. I have messaged him. Meaning I try to ask when he is bringing him back but I think he enjoys knowing it upsets me

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