Lola1xx

[Lola1xx]

Thank you for all your messages and support. I’m managing it day by day, night time is the worst. Day time when I’m at work is okay it’s when I get home. I’m just finding it difficult because I thought I’d have all this free time and I’d enjoy doing things, but actually I don’t, I’m just finding myself sitting here alone most times. I’m just taking day by day and hoping it will get better.. sending all loves and hugs xx

[Lola1xx]

Please please leave x
I know its so much easier said than done and id be a hypocrit to say just get up and leave. But please try and find the strength, if not for you for your baby. It is so a hard time for you right not plus the added stress of having your baby see it all also. I watched my mother be a victim of domestic violence and now myself a victim. You deserve so much better and so does your baby. Just imagine a life where u can be happy.. no worries.. just you two! Please imagine this and hold on to it so tight until u have the strength to make it a reality. For you and your baby x

[Lola1xx]

Hi all
Still havent found the strength to leave yet, i just know when it is there i will. I know ill just feel it, and that is the day im holding on to. I come here from time to time and get real warmth from reading the messages. Knowing that not everybody in this world is cruel. Ive been biting my tongue lately and just agreeing with everything and not even trying to stick up for myself. I fell sleep (detail removed by moderator) to him shouting around that i canot cook i ruined his food, im going to get a fine and he isnt going to pay it because i didnt put cardboard in the recycling bin. It all sounds so petty i know. But usually i would try and stick up for myself, i just cant be bothered anymore. Id rather to just keep my mouth shut and zone out from it. I feel in my own world at the moment. Like im in my home but im not actually here? Its my birthday coming up soon. Hes making all these plans for us to do. And i really wish i could be excited and look forward to these things. But i know deep down he will find a way to ruin it, or make me upset. So i am not even thinking about a day i usually get all giddy for.

Its not at its worst today and thats good i guess. Cant complain.

I hope you are all well and having nothing but positivity in your lifes xx

[Lola1xx]

Thank you all so much for your advice. Knowing i have people who understand what its like is a relief, i often feel like people think its a sympathy vote because i havent left him.

He poppped my nose yesterday and gave me a nose bleed and i think ive finally had enough. Ive told him it is over, i dont think he really believes me nor cares. But i can feel myself detaching from him. Maybe at least if my mind detaches it will make the body soon follow
Hope you are all well x x

[Lola1xx]

Thanks for understanding ladies, i just cant understand why and how somebody who says they love you can do this? If u arent happy and im not the one for you why is he staying to just put me through it? I really dont understand, i know what hes doing is wrong and he has made me feel worthless. But its still me ringing him to see how his day is, me texting him when hes coming home? Me asking to go places with him when hes going out? I dont understand it at all.

Im going to read up on everything everyone has said, thank you. Right now i just need to learn how to deal with this without completely breaking down.
Thank you
Xx

[Lola1xx]

Hi guys
I feel so silly ringing the lines because i just feel like im wasting time, in reality i dont have the strength or anything left in me to leave him. I am just at a point where i just wish i could sleep all day x

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