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So sorry Bridget you must be really hurting at the minute. Wish there was something I could do or say to make u feel better. Just know we are all thinking of you. I do understand to a degree as my grandfather just recently passed away aswell and did the same thing. Told them he didn’t want any treatment and stopped eating it’s a terrible, horrible thing to have to see. The only consolation in my case was that for him it was over with quite quickly and then he was out of pain but of course the selfish side of me wanted to hold on to him and not let him go.

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I’m on day (detail removed by moderator) of leavin. I was thinking about him this morning and just burst into tears saying I wanted to go home to him and get back to normal. Then I went shopping with a friend and ended up crying cos I kept seeing things I knew he would like then remembering I won’t sesee him again. Have just been thinking about what he’s thinking and doing, if he’s told anyone what’s happened, what he’s said about me etc…

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I’m doing this too I feel so responsible for him and so guilty and wonder what’s going through his mind it’s so hard

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I’m out now and safe staying with family. He actually really surprised me, although he was angry at first when I said I was leaving he didn’t start shouting and screaming like I thought he would. Which I think actually made me feel even worse. At first he argued with me that he’d done nothing wrong and he was annoyed that I’d spoken about him to my family. Then he followed me around telling me to stop packing but when he realised that I wasnt going to stop and that I had somewhere to go he actually ended up helping me and saying that I could go back anytime to collect the rest of my things as he doesn’t want to throw them out as per my instructions. I told him I hoped that the would be happy in the future and that he gets all the help he needs but he was just crying and sharing his head at me saying I didn’t need to leave. I left him with a letter explaining why Ive left so he can read it over again later. Then when I left he shouted after me that he loves me. It just broke my heart. I could tell by the look on his face that I’d just destroyed him and it’s upset me so much. He never believed id go. Now I have and I feel so so bad for him it’s awful I want to just say it’s OK Ill give u another chance but I know if I do its only a matter of time before I’m in the same situation

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Thank you for your responses I have contacted women’s aid and asked them to refer me to the nearest refuge but when the refuge got in touch they told me because I’m not on benefits and I work full time I would have to pay £(detail removed by Moderator) a week for the refuge which I clearly can’t afford as it’s more than my monthly wage to stay there for a month and the reason I haven’t gone into private rental is because he’s literally drained me of every penny to start off with so I can’t afford it. I basically felt like I was just being discarded as a single woman with no kids it’s like I don’t matter so it looks like for the minute I’m stuck with him. I’ve been barely eating and every time I do im just being sick again the thought of everything that’s going on just has my stomach in knots it’s horrible 😢

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