Statshine

[Statshine]

I need a rocket up my bum

Is it normal to be so tired and unable to think?

Started again tonight, just so tired work is full on not sure how I escape.

Worn down, feel worthless and stupid. First agency will only help with a refuge won’t help with supporting documents.

I need to see previous HA shelter offered advice on how to approach getting taken off the tenancy with ex partner and going on their housing list.

Every day more of me disappears as I make myself smaller so I’m not seen

[Statshine]

Hi

It’s hard, I understand your worries, he is not your responsibility is the first thing you need to remember, anyone who thinks badly of you is not your friend and can take care of him then.

I’m struggling to get time away to sort myself out for the same reason. I am never alone.

You do the life admin if he doesn’t have access to it separate it out so your stuff is separate. Are you leaving if you are webchat women’s aid for adviyon how to, (removed by Moderator).

Keep posting it helps

[Statshine]

What if anything do I tell work

They have a policy

Don’t trust my manager though

[Statshine]

What if anything do I tell work

They have a policy

Don’t trust my manager though

[Statshine]

Wouldn’t let me leave last night

[Statshine]

Awful day

 

I think I’m going to go and do a homeless application taking dog obviously

[Statshine]

Thanks Lisa the live chat has helped me before 

They are so fucused on emergency accommodation which isn’t suitable dog, work remotely full time that they don’t grasp the letter will help.

I focused on eating something today holding myself together for work is hard

 

[Statshine]

I have relapsed with my ed

Complete mess

Can’t see how to pull myself out of it

This and work are too hard

[Statshine]

(timeframe removed by Moderator) a bad one

I had to cancel my (activity removed by Moderator) because he made me.

He’s gone out I’m cleaning to keep busy

Meeting with a housing association on (day removed by Moderator) and I’m tired

I think I’m unlovable that’s why no one does

Self pity is strong today.

What if it’s just a normal relationship breakdown and I just can’t tell the difference anymore

I don’t know what to do I will never get cash together to privately rent council don’t see me as needing support, agency they referred me to are just focused in getting me to a refuge and don’t call when they say they are going to.

I can’t afford a refuge, I need support either finding a private rental or getting in housing lists

 

Sorry for constantly shouting into the void need to try and get some of it out so I can hold it together

[Statshine]

They are useless

Put me at risk as I made myself available for a call that never happened

I am angry and dealing with the fall out from yesterday really don’t need to do anything that makes him suspicious especially when they don’t even call.

What now

[Statshine]

Original agency told. Me I would only be able to get in too shared house as that’s all I am entitled to and I would have to get rid of my dog.

 

Will they or the local women’s aid advocate for me with the council housing association? Getting in the list is possible with support showing I need to leave because of DV.

Questions I was asked from local women’s aid were embarrassing and I forgot lots, why do we minimise even when talking to someone trained to support?

One bit of good news a housing association in a completely different town accepted me today. Am I strong enough to leave towns how do I do this, should I do this?

Work is remote so can do it anywhere. What has made dealing with support hard as I am never alone.

When I saw the housing officer for his flats face when he showed himself it flipped a switch. I remember that from leaving the ex husband it’s calm but panic.

I’m exhausted need to decide what to tell work if anything too many decisions head is mangled.

[Statshine]

Today has been awful.

I did manage to speak to local women’s aid though. Working and dog are a barrier to refuge.

H sshowed his true face to  a housing officer which sent me in a spiral.

I am still on a tenancy for a Housing Association property with the ex contacted them anyone know the chance that they will give me my own?

 

 

[Statshine]

It’s crap isn’t it

 

Feels like I’m not believed again

Certainly not supported

Good luck today

[Statshine]

Thank you

Just really spiralling because the police were useless. You can take things he has written to you were he says about giving you a kicking and they will just ask why you stayed when you don’t seem unintelligent.

Service are shocking, broke down why I can’t have a call,. Can’t give them a time because I dont know. If he’s going out ever, offered suggestions for how to communicate. That email. Will be ignore and I sent over the letter saying I dint need somewhere to live because it’s not domestic abuse or overcrowdin, email back, are you free for a call on friday

 

HOW DO I KNOW,

 

I feel invisible and so tired

[Statshine]

I’m screwed

Council have assessed me as having no housing need

Apparently not suffering domestic abuse triggered me badly as its the same as the police last time.

That service just keep saying I need to have a call I have tried explaining why I can’t but the risk it puts me at isn’t as important as the following whatever stupid process they have.

Feeling really really low. What’s the point?

[Statshine]

Agency have responded. Still focused on the need for me to attend face to face

 

Can’t be the only person who can’t do that. Don’t understand why they aren’t getting I am never alone

Feel like giving up

[Statshine]

Horrible weekenf

Do I quit my job and just walk or have faith this agency can help get me out?

[Statshine]

Getting the service to understand that I can’t have a phone call or just pop in is exhausting.

I am never alone, I dint have children to take to school and I work in the same room he is sat in.

I am able to bid on properties while they decide my banding so I am. Any idea what band I am likely to get?

[Statshine]

It’s soul destroying

 

I’m an idiot this one has actually caused more damage and he’s never hit me, hit stuff but never me. Ex that I escaped did hit me.

 

I would have been out had the bid for a property not been rescinded because the ex was on it.

Getting services to understand that working from home means I am never on my own. I can’t take a call or pop in, I get away with webchat and email just

[Statshine]

What do I say to them? Already tried to get them to understand that emails are better as working from home makes calls difficult and they gave booked me in for a call.

I am going to have to try and be out for it

I looked at refuges before and working full time and my dog mean I’m not going in one. It won’t be a good place for me I will not leave my dog not after the ex.

Maybe I should give up, being nice again now. It’s too hard and I’m tired

[Statshine]

Looks like I may have lost that property

 

They want evidence of domestic abuse

Police told me ‘your not unintelligent so why did you stay’ with the ex and I haven’t reported this one, why would I don’t get believed and he hasn’t actually hit me, broken my stuff, called me names, bled me dry, wrecked my health and eroded what little me was left but not hit me.

What do I do now?

[Statshine]

Another bad day

I need to get a grip and get out but I.am so tired

[Statshine]

Hi

It’s a lot to process and you do have to process it. I’m letting myself cry when I need to.

Xxx

[Statshine]

Thank you @tryingtosleep

Today I don’t think that I can.  Its just too much.

I have aome health issues which are hard to come to terms with and I’m not sure I have the energy.

 

Monday I will call the HA see if the property is available and Tey and move the viewing/sign up to the end of the week I think

[Statshine]

The flat is looking likely why am I scared?

I  am worth more than no affection, name calling and goading.

Had an medical appointment he kept asking question about it I don’t want to share it, it’s not good news and he will use it

[Statshine]

I meant to add he says I gaslight and I’m abusive what if he’s right?

[Statshine]

I don’t trust them following last time

[Statshine]

The police had me doubting it
The stuff they saw makes him not very nice but it isn’t a crime
There were threats etc

Stalking helpline is closed until 1 trying to check with womens aid then non molestation order I think though I don’t know what it would cover.
I changed my number
The rants on the outside of letters is the only way he has of contacting me

[Statshine]

Thank you
I really doubted myself
He put return to sender on it  (detail removed by moderator) then this whole diatribe about my new surname and where I work etc.
I really couldn’t tell if its stalking or not as they didn’t believe me at all they saw the messages and emails but nothing

[Statshine]

Police have said its not criminal
Right up until I showed them the evidence (detail removed by moderator).

They are going to see him (detail removed by moderator)

 

 

 

[Author]

Posts