Statshine

[Statshine]

I don’t trust them following last time

[Statshine]

The police had me doubting it
The stuff they saw makes him not very nice but it isn’t a crime
There were threats etc

Stalking helpline is closed until 1 trying to check with womens aid then non molestation order I think though I don’t know what it would cover.
I changed my number
The rants on the outside of letters is the only way he has of contacting me

[Statshine]

Thank you
I really doubted myself
He put return to sender on it  (detail removed by moderator) then this whole diatribe about my new surname and where I work etc.
I really couldn’t tell if its stalking or not as they didn’t believe me at all they saw the messages and emails but nothing

[Statshine]

Police have said its not criminal
Right up until I showed them the evidence (detail removed by moderator).

They are going to see him (detail removed by moderator)

 

 

 

[Statshine]

Can I get a quick divorce or do I still need to have his consent?
Anyone know about housing starting to think I should try and get him moved instead of running away

[Statshine]

He has had the dogs put to sleep

[Statshine]

@Turtledove
It really never will
We are a possession not a person. Just talking through some of the stuff that has happened to me and seeing other people react reminds me of how wrong it was

You too.
Xxxx

[Statshine]

@Turtledove
Its not easy love but I am already feeling a lot better.
Yes I have bad days where I’m shaking and crying but they were more frequent with him than now. I am slowly learning that you shouldn’t have to remake food for people, everyone doesn’t want to check where you are or who your talking to so they can not talk to you for a week and then send you nasty messages.

You will do it when you are ready.
Here really does help.

[Statshine]

Had lots of sleep
So I’m feeling a bit better today

Its like a roller-coaster

[Statshine]

So
Yesterday spoke to social services, gotta message from his family asking about nonsense that I was strong about and received an email in the conciliatory begging tone threatening to take the dogs to the dogs home

I breezed through and was fine.
Today the housing association I am joint tenant with and support worker have called and I haven’t answered.
I need an ostrich day. I need it to all go away so I can think.

[Statshine]

Well done you
You will have wobbles I know I have, come on here when one starts and get support. C

[Statshine]

Thank you both.

I am close to one of my siblings and I would want to be close to there.

I have friends where I am despite his best efforts but it feels tainted.

I hope I’m still in here somewhere, I’m so up and down all the time

[Statshine]

Also minimising
Have lost my whole life

Who am I?

[Statshine]

@eggshells I needed a few days off, I basically passed out last night about 8am and bar a couple of up periods slept till midday today.

I’m hoping to be able to use the email as evidence to help get them fostered until I am settled.
I still don’t know whether leaving here and going back to original city is the right idea so going to use my visit over the weekend to help me decide, or not, I am learning that I don’t have to deal with stuff right now I can try and breathe.

All days are not this positive but when they are it really highlights the abuse and the change in me.

I’m safe where I am and have been told the couch is mine for as long as I need it.

We are trying to reprogramme me so when I get defensive and start explaining myself we are gently telling me why I don’t need to.

I’m hoping to heal and my friend told me today that there are signs I will be ok, I have laughed, cried and had more anxiety attacks than I can remember but it’s a purge and I can’t rush it (still trying though)

@Turtledove, you will get there when your ready, speaking from my very recent view it will be something small that normally wouldn’t bother you and it will be a click on your head.
Keep on here, keep safe, plan much better than me. Xxxx

[Statshine]

Been bad today I lulled myself into a false sense of security by yesterday being such a good day.

So today I have, emailed my housing team back to ask for a few days and stressed I am safe. This was fine.

Not so good, had a sob, ordered and sent cat food to old house following looking at an email I shouldn’t have.

I passed out this evening for 3 hours so I think I am just worn out.

Yes looking at the email was stupid.
No point in causing more pain

[Author]

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