Swallow

[Swallow]

Seeing my son’s face as he stood by and watched an awful outburst before I took him to school in the morning. It was like a switch flicked in my mind and I knew that was it.

[Swallow]

Thank you. It is so disappointing how far the reach of these abusers go – I don’t understand why (detail removed by moderator) had to ‘let him know’ – it is just really making things worse.
I reported the damage to the police (detail removed by moderator)  and they said he would be arrested but nothing as yet. The insurance route could be an option as I do have a crime reference number?
I am going to call Rights for Women tonight and get some more advice.
I am now calling tradespeople who do not know my husband at all and most are saying they are fully booked until November. So no bathrooms in our home, where our son lives, big holes in walls, gas pipes sticking out the floor – and he is happy for our son to live like this.

[Swallow]

I remember all the feelings you have prior to getting a non-mol order. the day I got the order I was panicking so much about how my ex would react even though I had already left the family home with our children. I can honestly say it was the best decision for me – it has given me some power back, enabled me to feel safer and created safe boundaries.
The other thing that has been the life changing influence for me has been getting help from a psychotherapist – that has reinforced why these orders are so important by giving you understanding of their behavior and these boundaries we put in place such as non-mol orders are the best way to help break free physically

x

[Swallow]

I did think about what I am going to say to tradespeople when they come round to my house but then I felt complete fear and the thought of someone seeing me as vulnerable and someone who could be taken advantage of….my therapist asked me how I view men recently, and based on my ex and my own Dad I find it really hard to believe that a man can be all good, and surely behind closed doors they all have a hiding monster that comes out

[Swallow]

The non-mol order was the best thing I have ever did. It immediately set the tone for my ex of not being able to keep playing his old games, it also gave me the strength to not go back.
The occupation order was granted at a later date – in court was awful and I am glad I opted for legal representation. It was expensive but on the day my ex was all over the place, crying, speaking out of term, he had no representation and it took the judge and my solicitor to guide him through and to get him to understand and sign the order. Had I gone alone I think it might have been adjourned.

[Swallow]

Thank you – this is so helpful. My ex is also very charming and has started telling people that it was me abusing him!!! It makes me so nervous that people/judge might believe him…
I have now had legal advice from a solicitor who is on standby to come to the court with me – I just need to decide if I think I can do it on my own.
Feeling stronger everyday…so maybe…!

[Author]

Posts