Toofarr

[Toofarr]

I am sorry you’re feeling like this. I think it’s only natural. Deep down you must know you’re doing the right thing. This not an easy thing but it’s the right thing.
Can I ask how MARAC works when you’re high risk and have kids? Do social services intervene and want you out asap ? I’m curious to know as I suspect I’d have to go through the same. I hope you don’t mind me asking x

[Toofarr]

Good luck! Be proud for taking that step and stay strong. Do you have an advocate helping you plan things? X

[Toofarr]

This is the reason why I’m terrified of leaving. Handing over an innocent child to an abuser. Knowing it will be worse for them without you. These agencies tell you to leave to protect your child, then hand them back over to them through court.

[Toofarr]

I’m so happy for you, well done for taking that step! I hope you get the results you want. I hope you get some peace x

[Toofarr]

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Do you have a support worker you can reach out to? If they’re breaching the restraining order can you not report that? I thought it was a criminal offence to breach just an order. I understand you’re scared. Please take care of yourself and continue to seek help. Don’t let him win.

[Toofarr]

I’m sorry that you’re going through this after everything. Do you have an advocate or support worker to help you? It’s common for this to happen like you said but if you have an advocate to advocate for you it might ease the burden and stress for you. It won’t be the first time it’s happened.
One reason I’m still here is knowing abuse will be worse when I leave and having to go through court process…

[Toofarr]

I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve gone through. I completely understand. Not speaking up because you’re scared of their reaction. Im the same. I’ve just stopped sharing how I’ve felt because of his reaction or because or just being dismissed. It’s not your fault. They’ve conditioned you to be this way.
I don’t think it’s an overreaction. You’ve done what you needed to feel safe. I say that coming from someone who has been coerced and pressured into sex just to minimise abuse or just to get him to stop pestering me.mine also gropes me all the time even when I have said for him to stop and that I don’t like it . This is not ok. We know deep down, it’s not ok. Please take care of yourself x

[Toofarr]

Well done! I’m so happy for you! You should be very proud of yourself.

I wish nothing but for this too. I wish I wasn’t so terrified…what is it going to take…

[Toofarr]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can imagine it must be heartbreaking. Again, it’s not your fault! It’s the abuser.
I would keep talking to your son and keep trying. He has manipulated him and he probably just wants his approval.
I’ve always said to myself , the day my child exhibits his behaviours towards me, I will be done…but I know it’s not easy…

[Toofarr]

This is so great to hear. I’m very happy for you.
I wish I could be in your position one day but seems like a far away dream…
I’ve stayed to keep my young child safe. Just wondering, how did you manage to keep your kids safer from the abuser? I have little faith in the court system…I hope you don’t mind me asking this x

[Toofarr]

It’s crazy because I’ve called mine the devil for years and I felt mean for it

[Toofarr]

I have guilt in terms of staying , guilt for accepting so much crap for so long, from him and his family. Guilt for bringing a child into this and praying everyday he will leave me . He won’t. He won’t want to lose that control. I’d be free and so content if he didn’t want to see our daughter , knowing he can’t harm her , damage her. But I know he will fight me custody battles and I will never rest. Not because he cares but because he will use her to hurt me. To continue the abuse. It’s why I’m still here.

[Toofarr]

Can you try do what you did the last time to get out?
Also, can I ask about what you mean not emotionally mature due to DV? I’ve always thought this is what’s happened to medue to being in abusive relationship my whole adult life but didn’t know it’s an actual thing…,

[Toofarr]

Good luck , wishing you the best. I’d love to hear about your story and how you dealt with things x

[Toofarr]

They are not capable of change. Any change is just to manipulate you and fool you. It’s temporary. From what I am seeing with mine, he has only gotten worse through our relationship and only worse now a child is involved because he uses her to control me more. They won’t change.

[Toofarr]

Thanks so much. I’ve sent u a message x

[Toofarr]

You’re describing my partner! He won’t admit his childhood was messed up. He thinks it was fine and his mother is perfect who he worships. She’s (detail removed by Moderator) who controls and manipulates them. He actually uses her to hurt me. She’s been much cause of the abuse I’ve suffered.

[Toofarr]

You should be so proud of yourself. I’m so happy for you. I wish I can be at peace one day. I wish more than anything for my daughter. I’m trying not to disappear because then he wins. I’m scared I’ll lose my child if I leave. I’m scared I’ll be judged for staying when they told me I’m high risk. Scared they’ll take her when I finally do leave. Or he will. With his lies and manipulation. With his money. Wish I can be stronger and not so terrified.

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