torpefy

[torpefy]

I can relate to all of what you say.
The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying. The only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.
I left years ago and am still subjected to harassment although this is at least limited now. It took a very dangerous situation, much like you describe with your friends for me to take that jump, and as awful as it was, I will never regret it. I am sure you won’t either but be smart, plan your escape with the support of very few you trust. Thinking of you.

[torpefy]

It’s quite scary the lengths some will go.
In reference to repeating a lie, they may well believe it. In my cases he had so many versions in the end he tripped himself up – you don’t have to have a good memory if you tell the truth.
You are right the women on here are true warriors.

[torpefy]

This reminds me of my situation. You do end up playing the game. Fortunately I had a garage to store it in, but he had stored it so badly a lot of it was dirty/damp. He sent a forceful email when he realised it’s condition would be poor instructing me to clean it! Needless to say I didn’t!
Just took photos and ensured I had a witness when third party collected. Multiple collections were arranged, id taken time of work, he wanted his parents to collect when they were here to see grandchildren. All twisted games.
In reference to the comment where they one took the tv, I will always remember my ex demanding everything (fridge freezer/sofa/tv/you name it). He was told that was family property and stays for the benefit of the children. I know exactly what you mean though in terms of wanting to start fresh, I think if he needs everything so badly take it. We will be just fine with our freedom thank you.

[torpefy]

Thanks everyone.
(detail removed by Moderator) Child saw some of the DV too at the end and this has hugely impacted on her also. There is no need to discuss child contact at this stage (or foreseeable future) (detail removed by Moderator) but this doesn’t stop him trying to ask because he doesn’t like the outcome. Trying to juggle work, single mum holding everything together, I’m sure his intention is to cause me so much stress that it break me.
It’s just so concerning these small number of individuals who really slip through the net tome and time again with no punishment for there tourment. So unjust.

[torpefy]

I have very recently been dealing with specialist police, the first officer was amazing but the rest don’t seem so in board.
The issue is because what he currently does is trivial (I think due to non Molestation order keeping him at bay) these incidents don’t result in any action taken as they are open to interpretation. I know exactly how they are intended of course!
I have enlisted the help of my MP (detail removed by Moderator)
For instance one incident was (detail removed by Moderator) addressed to me but emailed direct to my solicitor. My non mol and bail said communication relating to child contact. This had nothing to do with child contact and was harassing, and pestering in nature (also prohibited). Another incident (detail removed by Moderator) letter, he threatened (detail removed by Moderator) to have me sectioned under the mental health act alledging I was unsafe to look after my daughter. All very malicious but It’s constantly like this up and down. The last (detail removed by Moderator) he’s done things like parked up at a friends work place(detail removed by Moderator). Knowing she will inform me he’s in town.
I do worry what will happen or how far he will go if there’s nothing to stop him. Often when he has a new partner I get a fairly quiet life, but police disclosure has proven he has continued to be abusive/stalk subsequent partners. (detail removed by Moderator)

When you say get the support of women’s aid what exactly do you mean? Can they make letters of recommendation for instance?

[torpefy]

Sometimes it can feel like the world is against us. Its ok to feel full of hurt when you’ve been treated so badly, in fact it’s normal. Hug your kids, tomorrow is a new day.

[Author]

Posts