Whattodo2016

[Whattodo2016]

Thank you ladies. Hoping my counselling starts soon as I never want to be in this position again. I seem to attract (detail removed by Moderator) !

[Whattodo2016]

Tenancy is just in my name thank god because I knew that say would come! Luckily we are not married or have kids together and he’s moved (detail removed by Moderator) miles away back to where he’s from. He’s coming tomorrow to get the rest of his stuff but il ring police if he starts but I don’t think he will. After tomorrow I will just block his number or get a new one if he’s tries contact me.
This time is definitely it, I’m going to concentrate on my daughter and rebuilding my confidence and friendships again which all got damaged due to him and his possessiveness.
So nice to be in bed and not be harassed for sex bliss !!!
Thanks ladies for all your support I know I’ll have dark times ahead but I’ll get there this time!

[Whattodo2016]

Hi
It’s hard not to engage with him as I’m living with him, I know he’ll never change and that’s why I’m getting support to make me stronger so when I do ask him to leave I never end up back with bim, I have broke up and ended back in this situation so many times over the past (detail removed by moderator) years and I’ve had enough, I want my life back, I want to be able meet friends for a coffee or glass of wine and go see my daughter abroad if I want to not have him tag along to watch me, he’ll say what is it you want talk about that I can’t here? Talking shit about me again!
He’ll say why do you want start going out now? Your friends never contact you only if they want something, they don’t contact me and ask coz they know the answer will be no!
I’m getting there and yes u have got the dominator book and I’ve bought why does he do that too!

[Whattodo2016]

But if he manages to get me to say yes it’s nice so he’ll say why don’t you like it! He’ll say I wish you would be more adventurous and initiate it, how would you feel if I turned you down most of the time.
He’ll make me feel guilty for being tired, or say comments like if my **** was your iPad I’d be very happy!
I hate sex right now, think he’s made me hate it, can’t imagine ever wanting be with a man again after this.

He said (detail removed by moderator) the good should outweigh the bad and I don’t abuse you that often, I said you should never abuse me!

My daughter lives abroad and I want to go visit but he said were a family why do you want go alone, then he’ll make me feel guilty, so your going go abroad and leave me here. He says he doesn’t want be in a relationship where I go off abroad alone. Going out is another nightmare, I e started a new job and making new friends, I’ve turned down 4 opportunities to go out since I started, he’ll say why do you want go out alone with male and female colleagues, so I don’t go.

I was poorly other day and asked him get me some tissue he wouldn’t, nor did he offer get my daughter so I had go out feeling unwell.

He r

[Whattodo2016]

Thanks for your reply. Went to the docs yesterday as I’ve been physically exhausted this past few weeks to point where my eyes water, I think it’s cause I’m drained by it all, other day he said I should still be able have sex even if I’m tired as it’s been a few weeks, he even was doing an online diagnosis for me as he said something is wrong with me to be always tired and not want sex. When I say no he just goes cold and moody, he’ll ask hours before we go bed if we’re having it, such a turn off, feel like a sex object. Doc said he sounds like a caveman and that I’m right to be getting counselling, I’m on the list waiting but going to a drop in next week at WA.
Why is it so hard to just say go?

[Whattodo2016]

I will do thank you.
Like I said this is just tip of iceberg. He’s horrendously jealous has accused me of all sorts to point where I Darnt look anywhere. He’s said horrible things about my son who died, this was years ago but he argued with me I have less children than what I have as he said I can’t include child that died aged (age removed by Moderator) years, but then he’ll argue that he didn’t mean it and he’s sick sense of humour but he’s nice person.
Last night he wouldn’t take my daughter to her friends as he said he’s not enough petrol for week if he starts taking her here and there, so she had wait until I got home b4 she could go out, just silly stuff this but really grips me xx

[Whattodo2016]

Thanks
I’m booked in to see WA next week whilst I wait for my counselling so I’m doing what I think will make me stronger to do it when the time comes. When I read things it makes me feel what I’m gong through is not EA but then something happens and I realise there are aspects of EA in my relationship.
I want to live a life that is free from restrictions, I feel I change a lot of my behaviour so not to cause a row, like il give in about sex because he’ll say he needs it twice a week and can’t be in a relationship where that doesn’t happen, il not go out when asked as it’ll cause a row, il not speak to my ex when he drops my daughter off because it’ll cause a row, I’ve not been visit my other daughter who lived abroad alone because it’ll cause problems and he’ll question why I want go alone, things like that. Is this control?
Xx

[Whattodo2016]

I’ve got out before and I just go back and regret it so I’m trying to do it different this time so when it happens again I never go back. He can be so nice and does everything for me to be so horrible when we argue cos I stand up to him.
When he was calling my work colleague racist names he said I made him do that and it’s not racist.
He hates when I go out after a row is that because he doesn’t want anyone to know ?
He’s said vulgar things to me b4, I got on well with my ex up until I took him back this time, my partner loves it that we don’t speak now, my ex gave my some money towards getting my car fixed last year and put (detail removed by moderator) in my house my partner threatens me that he’s going contact my exs girlfriend and tell her but she already knows. He doesn’t get on with his ex so he thinks I shouldn’t get on with mine but we have a child together so surely it’s better if we get on?
Why can’t I forget things that happen and end up feeling so bitter and thinking this is so wrong ? I’ve been in physical abusive relationship b4 and got out but EA draining, I find it much harder this time. He doesn’t come from round me his family and friends live (detail removed by moderator) hours away.
Omg I feel I’m dying inside X

[Whattodo2016]

If your the sole tenant then just ask him to leave, if he doesn’t call the police. If he’s not on the tenancy he will have to leave. X

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