County

[County]

Mine has no friends or if he does he sees them once a year perhaps.
Keeps everything and everyone family wise very very close all the better to control them.
Tried to bludgeon me verbally into having the same politic views, he was is a facist (if i’d known I’d have had nothing to do with him)
Extraordinarily nosey what did you have for dinner?who did you see where did you go? Questions all the time.
Never had any money paid for nothing. Made sure however that he paid for first round and made a big deal of it.
Went to members of family for years telling outrageous lies to make him look all the better, didn’t know until I decided I couldn’t take anymore.
Used prostitutes obscene web sites porn, again very secretively.
Completely seperate life maintained through work and going out for a message that took hours. Weekends were his.
Bad mouthing people he claimed to like but in actuality never said a bad word about his friends who from what I can see are very similar to him.
Asked friend to set him up with a new woman (detail removed by moderator).
Compulsive lying always making up convoluted stories to cover tracks.
No real hobbies or interests picks up information or ideas like a sponge and then passes them off as their own.
Impossibly sensitive to any perceived slight.
Prone to horrible screaming rages that go on for hours.
Highly manipulative manages to get people to do the most ridiculous things.
Covetous sees a fiver, you pick it up will tell you that it’s his because he saw it before you.
Takes drugs and drinks and then drives.
Hates fat people. Yet he encouraged me to eat all the time.
Fauns over people he thinks have money in the most nauseating way.
I was not allowed to have anything private he went through my belongings handbag diary anything to get a handle on me.
Stole from me and then convinced my family I was thief.
As his good looks have faded through incessant smoking his personality has got worse.
A stress freak. Lives on his nerves worried about his facade coming down.
Hates illness or anything that reminds him of the frailty of human life, ignored his dying mother who I was forbidden to bring the children to see.
Thinks everyone is a thief liar etc and out to get what they can.
Finally a very miserable person with little or no joy in life at all.

[County]

You can’t as he will have got there before you to say you are the problem. The pity play. Mine referred to me as the loony and my children knew. He will have refined his technique so maybe even more covert than when he was with you. She may catch on, mine ex is still bambozzling his gf and he took her to stay in my Mum’s holiday home months after he left, classy!

[County]

He’s playing with your head Womens aid always say a woman knows and she does. They train us to ignore our gut feeling by repeating the same old mantra. If you feel there’s something off there probably is.

[County]

I would tell them what you feel comfortable with. Have they witnessed anything have they overhead? My ex was a real head masher and used an underlying problem I had as an explanation. In other words its all her. He has manipulated everyone him to his point of view including our children who witnessed his terrible behaviour belittling leaving the house and not returning the list is endless. I made the mistake of sharing too much and like all kids they didn’t wan to think of their father badly. So tread lightly because you are treading on their dreams.

[County]

Hey listen don’t worry. I had a similar situation recently in that an old flame got in contact with me. Then I find out that he’d been doing some research on me. It was his sister who asked me to meet up with him as he was going through a bad seperation. I held back as I realised he was very concerned about losing property and money. I was right he went back. So glad nothing came of it. Don’t be too open too soon, some things are better revealed face to face. Would you have told him straight away that you had a heart complaint? Hope you don’t think I’m being judgemental but I have a condition that I would only tell someone I really trusted and that takes time. .

[County]

Mine told he once found a diamond ring in the gutter, he brought it home. The whole thing seemed really fishy it was winter raining and he decided to take our son out in his trolley for a walk. He claimed he saw the ring just lying there in the water! I was able to return the ring and the met owner. The more she told me the stranger it seemed. Later on he lost his wallet with £300-in it, he was building something at the house. I think he expected me to pay instead. A week or so later the wallet was returned by the father of the girl that found it who just happened to be at same tech….. yeah right. His response oh that’s good karma for me returning the diamond ring. Fast forward sometime we are broken into very late at night, he sleeps on the sofa, for no particular reason. Police come round once they arrive he heads off leaving me to deal with it. One of the detectives is known to me he points out the glass from the broken window is on the wrong side. My heart freezes. Had to have my engagement ring cut off and then I lost it..ha ha They are all fake in every way. The only thing that is real is their obsession with themselves.

[County]

Hi There Rosaleen, Its time for you I know how easy that is to say. My experience is similar, my kids are grown up and have chosen to live with heir father. I’m back at work and coming home to an empty nest is not great. As my family believe my abuser I have no other resort but to believe in me and get on with my life. Its hard when you have left your abuser, as its not a usual divorce if there is such a thing. A lot of people at this stage are planning retirement together holidays etc. So join something you enjoy, art classes keepfit anything that gets you out and about. etc.

[Author]

Posts