Feelinglikeafool

[Feelinglikeafool]

They don’t want us to have time to rebuild/recharge because that would allow us to get better and stronger. By controlling the small things they keep us where they want us. Practise as much self care as you can.. take long baths and watch your programs on your phone, if you can?

I’m great at giving advice/seeing logic when it’s someone else, absolutely flipping hopeless when it’s myself that needs a wake up call! X

[Feelinglikeafool]

Hey @Auriel can you send me the link to that post please? I really struggle with navigating this site on my phone for some reason 🙃
Thanks x

[Feelinglikeafool]

Thanks all. It’s just that realisation that everything was a lie; suppose it’s a blow to the pride to know that he never felt anything real for me at all. None of them are capable of real feeling, which is why it’s so furious-making to think of all the hours spent worrying about him and whether he could cope without me, because he was so needy. I know all the neediness was just part of the game too.

Have been thinking about it and I can honestly say I was never properly happy with him, certainly never felt any peace, not once. I’m not even sad for us because I know there wasn’t ever really an “us” at all.

[Feelinglikeafool]

Thanks. Yeah I know it was the right thing to do really, but I couldn’t sleep last night and ended up reading loads of stuff on Quora where people were saying that reporting it could make it worse for the woman. All I know is my neighbours suddenly went deaf when I was in the same position and I’d have loved for someone to have called the police. I also know that I couldn’t live with myself if something happened.

Yes I’m distancing myself now, definitely. Going to keep my head down and think about moving. And if it happens again and the kids sound as terrified as they did, I’ll have to call again :/

Thanks xx

[Feelinglikeafool]

I feel sick this morning, a real sense of dread. Don’t know if it was the right thing to do, I know a lot of people would say not to call the police. But when it was happening I froze, my daughter kept begging (detail removed by moderator). Guttural screams from the woman and the kids as he kept shouting f’s and c’s and banging so much our house shook too. (Detail removed by moderator). I’ve tried to make friends with the woman to see if I can help.

There’s animals in there too and I know they’re not being properly looked after. I feel like I want to get away as quickly as possible now because I don’t know if he’ll come for me, and now I have nobody to call (my ex, ironically, would have been here in the blink of an eye!)

[Feelinglikeafool]

Let’s help each other! I did nearly two weeks no contact, then caved, now starting all over again. Stick at it, they don’t change and it just hurts more every time. You can do this xx

[Feelinglikeafool]

Thanks both. I did have him blocked, then I watched some videos/read some stuff that said when you block malignant narcissists (which I’m 99.9% sure he is as he fits ALL the criteria) it can make them rage. I didn’t want him turning up on the doorstep so figured unblocking was the lesser of two evils. But I know it made me vulnerable. It’s amazing how he has the power to make me forget everything bad he did and doubt myself. But I guess that’s what they all do!

[Feelinglikeafool]

Also, is your friend aware of the situation? It would be good if she could be flexible with this. I didn’t mean to sound harsh in my above reply cos know that feeling of being trapped only too well. WA were really helpful with me and I got a house from a local housing association within about 6 months… spent the time before then putting everything in order and staying as quiet as possible. It was really hard to accept because I’d bought my first house at a young age and never claimed a penny from the government until that day, but really it’s what they’re there for – to help people when they need it. Wishing you lots of luck and strength x

[Feelinglikeafool]

I’m with @Eyesopening. My daughter was the top of her year in every subject, really bright and sparky, and then went on to flunk her GCSEs and college course. She’s had two jobs which she’s left due to stress. We talk about it a lot and I know the reason she has such extreme anxiety now is that I stayed with my abuser too long. She’s had to watch me putting up with abusive men (I picked two, consecutively!) and I will never forgive myself for that. Even if they’re not being abused as such by these men, the effects of seeing their mothers go through it can be catastrophic. I know it’s really hard but promise it will be best for you all in the long run. Xx

[Feelinglikeafool]

Yeah, everything was my fault too.

[Feelinglikeafool]

I know not to take it personally because it’s wired into their DNA to follow these same patterns of behaviour, it’s just astonishing how they all do the same things. Like they’re not capable of feeling anything real.

I had a realisation a few months ago that he was an emotional vampire, you’re so right. It’s like they suck the life out of anyone who sticks around long enough. Pathetic creatures. X

[Feelinglikeafool]

It’s madness. Just goes to show how fake they all are, how real love is just an alien concept to them. Imagine being that insecure! And they make out we’re the weak ones…

[Feelinglikeafool]

❤️

[Feelinglikeafool]

It’s amazing isn’t it? They all sound like the same person. Mine used to make me feel sorry for him all the time, his favourite subject is himself and he has to win every game. That’s all our relationship ever was to him I think, a game.

They really are!

[Feelinglikeafool]

Thanks, yes it does rhyme with “anchor”, also “mastered” and “punt”. Thanks for making me laugh 😂

It was actually one of my male friends that commented, not his, I just missed that bit out. He’s blocked now and my pic is of something that symbolises joy, so if he logs on with another account or something he’ll get the message! What an anchor indeed x

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