Firsthope

[Firsthope]

Ok thanks its been so much nicer and stress free without him so It’ll be easy to not make contact

[Firsthope]

And all women should I say. Not just me.
We all deserve a nice partner

[Firsthope]

Yes they can never lose can they fizzylem. He really is awful.

I did read pat cravens book. It taught me alot and had lots of information. I’m glad I bought it it made me realise and also see the kind of nice partner I deserve in the future

[Firsthope]

I was doing fine then he found a way to text me and ask if im ok and that I should let him round to have sex! I told him it’s not a good idea as we are over for good and he started telling me that he told his that I’m crazy and tthat he’d probably wake up with me standing over him with a knife which is absolutely not true!!
I was annoyed by this and he said it was a joke that made his friends laugh.
Can’t put up with this anymore..why they do make it all our fault and that the reason we split with them is made to be a silly reason?

[Firsthope]

This man is definitely abusive. He sounds alot like my ex. He’s unsupportive too and that’s not what a relationship is about. Please don’t waste any more time with this man he’ll drag you down further and ruin your self esteem. You deserve better x

[Firsthope]

Thank you. I have been searching for new things to do to keep my mind off it and I have found some things which I used to do but he put me off doing them. I have no doubts I will not let him back in my life again. Can’t go through that again I deserve someone who will be nice and care for me. I remember him saying when we broke up that the things I ended it for where never brought up by his ex partners so he reckons he is ok! But before that he said why couldn’t I just talk to him about it like his other exs. Seems he is the one twisting words , not me, like he says. Goes to show he how vile he is. I’m glad to be rid. And I’ll keep coming back to this forum very helpful 🙂

[Firsthope]

My ex did exactly the same. He was always saying things like that to me. It made me feel I wasn’t good enough. And I ended up letting him discipline the kids on his own and felt like I had no control or say because “his way was better” and “I give in to easily”. It puts you down and eventually he’ll have all control. He should be supporting you not putting you down. Please call the helpline they are very helpful

[Firsthope]

So today I feel so low. Dont feel like eating oror going out although I have done those things in small amounts. He tried to tell me I’m delusional because it was only playing and that no other ex of his mentioned it like I did so he thinks its ok

[Firsthope]

Thank you. I haven’t had any ‘hoovering’ as such yet but if he does do this I’ll keep strong. I know he’ll never change. I read a quote I found on surviving abuse, I like it, it is *Abuse is not love*

[Firsthope]

I have just ended my relationship with my ‘abuser’. Things were starting to get bad again and tonight he talked to me like a piece of dirt over nothing. So I said I’m fed up of you talking to me like that and treating me like this . He said (removed by moderator). So I asked him to leave. Then he kept messaging me to say im twisting things and chucked him out again without talking about it. I said im done talking about it because you just don’t care. Blocked him and now hes gone for good! I feel so alive and free its amazing

[Firsthope]

But we have to try and get the courage to end it. We don’t deserve it theres no excuse for abuse. I know that now

[Firsthope]

I feel for you Maxface because I’m struggling to pluck up the courage to leave too. He is going through the fact of his ex dying tragically but he is with you now and he should be making you happy now. My partner says he is moody sometimes because of his awful past but ive been told its no excuse no matter when it happened. If he and yours is a good person they wouldn’t treat us like this. And as i said im struggling to leave aswell because he does do some nice things and has bought himself soem furniture for my house on the same day i was going to end it so thats made me feel worse about ending it. So I’m stuck on how to go about it too

[Firsthope]

He has Eeyorenomore and makes out I’m the crazy one. He also says he knows hes been evil but he does tell me I’m pretty often. Yet, all the cruel he said as a joke makes me wonder if im good enough. Its like mind games. It’s so confusing! : (

[Firsthope]

Thank you serenity for that interesting reply. I’m sorry to hear you went through that must have been awful also. He has been acting much nicer lately which had me questioning if he was slowly changing towards not being abusive. But I do doubt it will stay that way. I think maybe I should act like everythings fine and if nothig changes well then I know for definite. He had me having long conversations with him about how he treads on eggshells and I don’t do enough to make him feel wanted. I was very shocked by this as it is not true. Hes the one who makes me feel so down all the time and scared to open up to him. But since I have stsrtes to open like yesterday morning he just pulled his middle finger his up to me. Then he acted like nothing had been said,kissed me then went out “to his friends” and didnt come back til (detail removed by Moderator). The other night he also went out with his friend to pub. He text me around (detail removed by Moderator) but then didn’t reply to me so half hour later I rang him no answer and I didnt hear back from him for an hour and half.

[Firsthope]

I seem distant and not like myself lately

[Firsthope]

I do feel on edge most of the time that hes here. I have been getting plenty of sleep but still feel tired and there are bags under my eyes. Don’t know if its from thinking too much or whether it’s stress?
I’m scared I will end it with him and think what if I made the wrong decision. Or remember the good times but the bad ones outweigh the good so im struggling there

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