strawberryshortcake

[strawberryshortcake]

I will and it was in front of a friend so have a witness X

[strawberryshortcake]

tuppance- mine too and reading stuff like this terrifies me.

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you everyone. I’ve had a tough week. He saw me out with a friend, banged the window where I was, stormed in and told me he had researched me, I was on a register meaning I was unsafe to keep my son and that he was going to take him from me unless I cooperated. He said he was going to ensure things were going to get very nasty and that I was ‘on the radar’ it’s all rubbish but it scared me. I rang the police. They said they had grounds to arrest but I declined as he would lose his job. They said they would speak to him on the phone but he’s screening his calls (he knows it’s the police) so I hope they keep trying as I can’t have this left as it is. I’m worried the police won’t keep trying to reprimand him. He’s continued to contact me x3 since the incident on email. Beginning to wish I had just had him arrested.

[strawberryshortcake]

I’ve sent a couple of messages to Lisa asking to join this group but don’t hear anything back so I’m a bit worried I’m going to miss it again. She must get loads of messages!

[strawberryshortcake]

Hey Peaceful Pig. I agree, I got the impression my solicitor just thought it was all kinda ‘hot air’ his threats but I cannot take that risk, can I? If I take to court do you think they would listen? Would it put my case in a ‘good light’ if I take it to court and would they listen….or does it not make a difference who takes it? Because if it doesn’t then there’s no point and I may as well lave it to him…

[strawberryshortcake]

Ok. This is all such a horrible mess. Thanks. 😞

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you FS, I had such an awful week last week but he’s not contacted me today so feeling a bit relaxed now which is nice.

[strawberryshortcake]

Hi Ayanna, yes I have. He hasn’t used the words ‘I’m coming to get you’ or kicked my door so I don’t meet the requirements for an emergency one X

[strawberryshortcake]

Not sure if I’m allowed to link to external sites but here goes…(detail removed by Moderator)

[strawberryshortcake]

I can’t believe breast is an offensive word, oh the irony.

[strawberryshortcake]

We can’t express without breast pumps 😉 Also, it would definitely cause nipple confusion for my little one. He breast feeds not just for hunger but for his developmental and emotional needs and night feeds. I Will fight it tooth and nail.

[strawberryshortcake]

I’ll be going through the same soon. I’m hoping the fact that I’m still breastfeeding will assist. I will not allow him overnight he’s far too young. I don’t think the court would expect a young baby such as yours to be without mumma overnight especially with practically a stranger. Keep your log of all the times he’s seen your baby, state he’s never had him or dealt with him on nightwakings.

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you Kip, I really appreciate the support you give me. I’m just done in, got no fight left and didn’t feel like this solicitor took me seriously. Honestly don’t have the energy.

[strawberryshortcake]

I feel so tired and so lonely. My baby is being, well….just a baby ATM but crying and teething and it’s just full on. I went to my solicitors appointment today, I was assured by domestic violence charities that it was just a case of getting the ball rolling with this non molestation order. Not that simple apparently and they want to send him a warning letter first. They don’t seem to realise I just need protection. I’ve really been through the mill, I’m exhausted. They don’t know all the shit I’m going to have to deal with after the letter. He’s been threatening me, stalking me, harrasing me, ringing my bell, but because he hasnt threatened to hit me, or kicked my door I don’t have access to emergency orders. I’m so fed up. Feel like it’s all been a waste of time….not even interested at present in discussing protecting my sons custody. Wish I hadn’t bothered as feel it’s all pointless now. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to type this out to be honest….

[strawberryshortcake]

My abuser is by all accounts trying his best to make the rest of the world believe I’m STILL in a perfect relationship with him…..he/they can project whatever they like, is my point….doesn’t mean it’s true. I’m sorry but in my experience, once an abuser always an abuser. You’re better off out of there. Treat yourself to a nice cup of tea, a cake….anything distract yourself from his ridiculous projection of his ‘perfect’ relationship, he wants you to be feeling rotten….(detail removed by Moderator). At least you’re not his new victim. Don’t be hard on yourself, this is just a blip, be proud of yourself for getting out of that relationship, for being a strong mother, for role modelling to your kids. Be proud of your bravery.

[strawberryshortcake]

Doesn’t matter how you looked, it’s of no consequence because he’s (detail removed by Moderator) and you’re not. Simple.

[strawberryshortcake]

He’s abusing you. Don’t give him the power. I don’t know your situation but you are describing what I have been through previously. I used to think ‘how can he? How can he be so hurtful, how can he not perceive the pain he causes me’ well, he can….he knows full well what he’s doing to you and chooses to do it. You don’t deserve that.

[strawberryshortcake]

Hi Kip, don’t worry it was just a blip from the other day. X

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you, Moogie. He is dreadful. It’s hard isn’t it. I was having a nightmare last night he was kicking my door in . Woke up to my elderly neighbour ACTUALLY having her door kicked in (she’s ok) I was crying and shaking as I woke up about to ring the police…..

[strawberryshortcake]

I do still have evidence on FB messenger, whatsapp, emails, and some texts (as he used two phones to message me from) I’m grateful it never occurred to him that this would be used as evidence. I did call apple and my carrier and there is nothing to be done about the lost ones. This is important! Your messages aren’t backed up unless you are plugged into a computer and you do it manually and then if you ever delete you can retrieve 👌🏻

[strawberryshortcake]

Do you think it’s possible to change my username? Because I’m worried he’s going to find me on here.

[strawberryshortcake]

I am awaiting for a call to get restraining order in motion (detail removed by moderator) saying he was reporting me to sservices and standing on my doorstep ringing the bell (whilst I was on the phone to the helpline). My friends have seen him loitering around outside my home. I’m scared. Feel so drained and exhausted….

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you both, I will ring rights for women today X

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you both! Yes, I have to ring Apple but unfortunately when I checked online my messages weren’t backed up :/ so going to ring them today.

[strawberryshortcake]

Ok, it’s just my worst fear and he’s so bloody clever. He twists everything and I mean everything. I have got emails where he’s hinting at it I used to have a lot more but accidentally swiped delete on my apple phone and can’t recover. So worried as it was vital evidence but still have a little bit X

[strawberryshortcake]

I know how hard it is. I used to think ‘maybe it’s me, maybe he’s changed, I need to give him a chance’ because I truly couldn’t believe any human could be as he was and not want to change. I was naive, I wish I had got rid of him as soon as the signs appeared.

[strawberryshortcake]

I wish I had not given into my ex, I wish I had banned him from the birth. He has continued to abuse me, my son is a (detail removed by moderator) old now. Don’t let guilt be your motivation for allowing him back in. Be stronger, your baby needs you strong and free of him ❤️

[strawberryshortcake]

Thank you both, I really appreciate your support. He tried to force me to abort my baby (his son). You may think this wouldn’t be possible but the lengths he went to were pretty shocking. Constant emotional abuse, blackmail, stalking. I’m so glad I was strong. I had my son, thought he would back off but now he uses my son. How would I find a domestic violence officer? I am safe. He cannot access where I live, although he knows where I am and all my neighbours are aware of him so they won’t let him in either (it’s an internal secure door system). I shall move the emails from trash to a safer folder. I have downloaded early texts and emails but need to back it all up again. Thank you both so much. ❤️

[strawberryshortcake]

I’m worried about contacting the police because of the nature of his work and the serious consequences it would have for him but I think it may get to the point where I have no choice. Also adviser on phone (WA) said if it went to court I have to be aware he may get 50 percent access. I couldn’t cope with that….he would damage our child 😪

[strawberryshortcake]

Yes, you’re right about contact and it’s stripped as much as I can. I informed him if he was abusive again that he would have to communicate via a third party and of course….he was. So now I will have to send emails straight to trash without reading. I just need to get advice on what happens next now. I have no family. And yeah, I totally regret the day I told him my biggest fear and that uneasy feeling I had when he said he didn’t have any fears X

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