pheonix

[pheonix]

Hi Blueberry

Well done for trying to paint ur room keep chipping away and u will get there .

It might be worth ringing the helpline and they can put you in touch with ur local group, you sound very isolated at the minute, that must feel so lonely for you i wish i could hug you and help u feel better.

Can i ask do u have a happy place in your memories that u can go to where u can go to and it makes u smile , i go to mine when i am feeling overwhelmed , sad or anxious i find it such a comfort and always just that little bit stronger afterwards.

I hope tomorrow is a good day xx

[pheonix]

Blueberry you have been through a horrendous ordeal and healing will take time one day at a time is my motto.

It helps me to set myself small goels ech day today i will wash my hair, today i will take my grandson to the park, today i will walk to the shop, today i feel sad i will allow myself to cry, crying is not a weakness it is a release for our emotions its not good to keep it all in . Just one day at a time
Have you got support from your local womens aide the have some great support groups.
Keep posting i will reply you do have choices contary to what he made you beleive.
Wishing u peace hope today is a better day for u xx

[pheonix]

Hi Blueberry

This is what they do they are masters at manipulation and isolation showing the face of a angel but the devil is inside.

The people who beleive him and have let u down are notctrue friends dont give yhem head space only you know the truth of your experience and how he made you feel i used to wish my husband would physically harm me so at least then i could of said look see what he has done i was battered and bruised inside but no one could see.

Remember we are strong they are weak i have joined a number of groups made friends that i have chosen and feel very supported by them
Do u have friends around you if not look for voluntary groups that u could help out with or art classes ect were u can form friendships i hope u have ased WA for help they are amazing
U are in my thoughts xx

[pheonix]

Hi Blueberry

Big hugs from me.

He has not completley destroyed you, the fact you are shareing on this site, show you are surviveing seeking support and help this shows your sense of self is clinging on, it will eventually guide u to the surface.

Take the time to heal reach out bang on doors and ask for the help and support you need, you are a survivor remember thay cannot win we are stronger than them thats why they try so hard to control us because they are weak.

[pheonix]

There is no reasonable explanation for what they do, because what they do is UNREASONABLE.

Dont let him turn you into him,dont go through he emails and social media, no one should invade anothers privacy its wrong, if we dont have trust in a relationship it cannot be healthy and equal.

Im sorry to hear
you are in such a bad place, we are all here for you keep posting it will give u strength.

Some one postedthink of ourselves as addicts and they are poison, we crave the poison but its but its bad for us destroying us, we need to go cold turkey DONT TAKE IT! Choose the rocky road to peace and happiness .

[pheonix]

Hi hun good advice from Kip please leave and find a safe place friend, family or refuge ur life is worth more than ur house you can still fight for what is yours from a safe place .

[pheonix]

Its so hard to accept that the people we love are the ones we are most at risk from, i have spent most of my life in a marriage where emotional abuse and control was the norm, walking on eggshells it felt like living my life deep under the sea struggling to breath in the last several years the control and abuse escalted to the extent he was with me 24hrs a day refusing to work because he had to be beside me tracking devices in the car and on my phone always trying to please him always failing i am finally out but still not free still lots of presure to return all the empty promisses to change they cannot change because they dont understand what they do is wrong they are icapable of being happy . We need to put ourselves first somthing i have never done so i find it so hard to do but when im weakened by his tears i come on here take strength to move forward and find peace and happiness.
Good luck with the job search sunshine you dont need him choose life laughter and success xx

[pheonix]

Hi sunshineRainflower

Big hugs from me, my friend told me dont look back, look forward. Become the person u want to be when my mind start to dwell on the past i rember these words and they help me to be centred and focused i hope they can help u too.
Hope u have a better day tomorrow wishing u peace and healing xx

[pheonix]

Hi Tbear i so hope u find it in you to take the councils offer which is the greatest fear leaving or living for the rest of ur life as you are now, there is help and support out there once u have left. He wants u to beleive u totally dependant on him, but once ur free u would be entitled to benefits ect join if u can a local support group and keep using the forum , i know it dosent feel like it right now but you are the strong one not him!!
Love and hugs thinking of you xx

[pheonix]

Hi knots keep building ur strength and plan ur escape.
when fear holds u back imagine a life where u can breath, smile and feel happy.
The life we are living is not normal love should not be full of pain, sadness and fear.
We owe it to ourselves to find peace and happiness there is help out there, lets all keep supporting each other.

[pheonix]

Hi cuppa how well u have written my story, i am just out after a lifetime of controll and emotional abuse. I am getting the silent treatment at the moment, next will be the tears come back i will change, then the anger and the stalking I AM NEVER GOING BACK! Just wish i had done it years ago .

[pheonix]

Hi please keep making plans reach out for all and gather all the support u can find the helpline is the best place to start. I too have just left a extremly controlling and emotionaly abusive marriage after decades of being told its all your fault, you dont try hard enough, you need to make me happy, i dont want your friends calling u i will ignore u for days if they do, i need to be with u 24/7 i will kill myself if u ever leave me the list goes on , beleive me it just gets worse no matter how hard u try to make them happy he has tracking apps on my phone in my car in the end they have consumed you body and soul ur sense of self is completly gone nothing left but scraps , well no more i am going to make myself whole again ,andcwhen the fear and panick set in i will face it head on because i am a million times stronger than him, i will survive and make a peaceful happy life for myself, to all who are going through this hell remember you can survive we all have a inner strength we just need to learn to love ourselves a little bit. its not

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