Pinkpearl

[Pinkpearl]

Thank you so much for your lovely advice. I think you are right about it all. Not that it makes it easier. I will always try to make everyone happy but I guess I need to concentrate on making myself and my kids happy. I will look at the book you have recommended too.

[Pinkpearl]

It’s such horrible treatment. If I get angry he says this is what he has to put up with. If I ignore him he says I don’t care. If I talk to anyone about it he says I have betrayed him. I can see now how controlling his behaviour is. I have young children and work part time. My life is so tangled up in his life, I need to save and plan to leave. It’s going to take me time but I will do it!

[Pinkpearl]

I am also in the same position. Living with my partner is really tough at the moment. But it is t always tough. Sometimes it is really good and that’s why it is so hard to leave. I worry about my children too. I am sure you are doing the best you can and your children will always know to live and support them. That goes a long way.

[Pinkpearl]

Thank you all for your replies. My mind is so full of everything right now. My partner has now decided he doesn’t want to be with me and will leave. But it feels like there is always a reason he isn’t leaving. Money. The kids. The house. I don’t feel like he will actually leave. In the meantime we are still behaving like a couple, until I want to have a proper conversation about it. Then he gets annoyed and says he will definitely leave. I am looking into legal advice but am also so sad to be in this position. I don’t know how I got here?

Do/did any of you find yourself really anrgy at how you have been treated, confront your partner about it and then end up being the one who appoologises?

[Pinkpearl]

You are not alone. I get this too. Even when he is in the wrong I am made to feel like it’s my fault. I have been desperate for a proper conversation to ask him to leave. In an argument today I told him he should leave. He has been threatening to go for months but keeps quoting (detail removed by Moderator). Then won’t talk to me to discuss how it works (we have kids). (Detail removed by Moderator), he got in his car and went. The ultimate silent treatment, disappearing.

I wish is all good luck. Things can only get better than this right?

[Pinkpearl]

I know exactly what you mean by “the look” it’s like a different person arrives. My partner’s mood used to be short lived. I used to have a few things I could try to make him go back to normal. My worry now is this difficult self has become the norm. So angry and mean all the time. The look has been there for far too long.

I don’t really have any advice for you. I just wanted you to know that I am living it too. It’s really not fair is it!

[Pinkpearl]

Kitkat44,
This sounds like me. Trying so hard to get everything right but still managing to get things wrong. Then saying sorry for something he has done. Eventually, I end up smoothing things over. We both agree to make things better. Then things might be good for a few years. But then something happens and he says he never loved me etc. He fixates on something else and may or may not go back to “normal.”

I feel better this time because I am considering my own options more. I actually want to go this time. But it is scary and I do feel sad.

Thank you for your reply.
Lots of love to you too. I hope you find happiness too. It sounds like you are a great partner and wife. You deserve better.

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